#Personal Stories

5 Ways Desi Moms Shame Their Daughters

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When you are brought up as a brown girl with desi roots, there are a few things you naturally get accustomed to. Of aunties constantly poking you about your marriageable age, or of being told to ignore the eve-teasing, cat-calling, and other “perks” of being a woman in India.

The sad part is most of the time, we are conditioned to blindly follow the societal ways by our very own moms. 

Here are 8 ways desi moms shame their daughters by telling them:

  • Not to stand up against harassment

It is tad depressing that most of us women are told by our moms not to raise voice against harassment. And when some of us gather the courage to do so, we are told not to create a tamasha. Every 15 minutes, a woman in our country is beaten, abused, raped, murdered. And these are just the numbers that are reported. What are we implying? Will we be spared if we kept walking with bowed down heads pretending not to care?

  • Not to enter the kitchen while menstruating

Rumour mills surrounding periods have given birth to many menstruation myths in society. One of them is to restrict menstruating women from entering kitchens or religious places. Most of our mothers have already given in to these social evils, so they tell us to conform to these baseless theories. We need to realise that menstruation is nothing but a very normal biological phenomenon. And women and adolescent girls should be taught to celebrate periods as they have the power of procreation only because of this virtue.

It’s high time Indian moms change their parenting styles towards daughters especially

  • To wear traditional clothes

The choice and liberty to wear whatever women want is sometimes an alien concept for Indian moms. Clothes are meant to be worn and not used as a statement of character.

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  • To get married at the “right” age

Mothers should raise their daughters to be more ambitious instead of poking them for marriage. They need to accept that their girls who are taking critical decisions at work that impact corporate bottom lines are wise enough to make their own matrimony decisions too. 

  • To have no privacy at all

Being concerned for your daughter’s safety and well-being is one thing, and constantly lurking around her like a satellite is totally another. Overprotective moms raise the best liars, they say. So, start building trust and friendship with her by respecting your daughter’s space.