Book Excerpt: 'Parenting Unplugged' By Lalitha Ramanathan

Mothers are often imagined as divine beings with six hands to seamlessly navigate countless responsibilities and smile through the exhaustion. Because somewhere along the way, society confused survival skills with superpowers. However, author Lalitha Ramanathan pulls the plug on this tired narrative of 'wonder women' in her latest book, 'Parenting Unplugged: The Drama Mama Series'.

In this humour-driven take on parenting, Lalitha chronicles the everyday chaos with honesty and laughter, touching on the challenges of juggling home and work, the pressures of modern parenting, and the inter-generational advice like 'this is not how we did it back in the day'. 

According to Lalitha, 'Parenting Unplugged' is not a guidebook; it’s a giggle-filled survival manual that makes real parents feel seen, and reminds them that yes, you can laugh while raising small humans without losing your mind! Here is an excerpt of the book.

'Parenting Unplugged: The Drama Mama Series'

15. Wonder Woman’s Adventures in Wonderland 

 Modern mothers juggle multiple roles. Mother, daughter, wife, sister, and friend; these are only some of our many names. We aspire to excel in our careers, raise well-mannered children, maintain a spotless house, stay active and fit, and flaunt a perfect social media profile. While embarking on a mission to prove to the world that we are the epitome of perfection, we attempt thirteen impossible things every day. Juggling multiple hats, integrating home and work, and carrying on with a smile plastered on our faces, interrupted by an occasional meltdown—all in a day’s work for us.

We are elevated on pedestals built on sacrifice and perseverance and glorified as ‘Wonder Women’. There is a constant urge to outperform, and it comes at a cost: the cost to health, be it physical or mental. As mothers, we must find our coping mechanisms, be it caffeine, friends, family, me-time, social media, or hobbies. I’ve discovered that humour helps me get through stressful situations.

If you can laugh at a sticky situation or even better, at yourself, you can survive anything.

Aunty, aren’t you too old for social media?

Social media is a double-edged sword, granting validation but creating anxiety. The simplest solution would be to ignore it, but despite your best attempts, it finds a way to pop back into your life. A lot like the annoying aunt you want to avoid at family functions but bump into without fail.

To survive on social media, one must cultivate massive amounts of self-restraint. I admire people who are silent spectators. They read everything but never comment. They deserve an award for self-control!

On my feed, I follow many influencers who are perfectly coiffed and well-attired. Imagine my astonishment when I learnt that some were mothers who had just had babies. Here they were, doing perfect push-ups with their adorable moppets strapped to their backs. In contrast, after my delivery, I resembled something the washing machine spat out in the spin cycle.

I had always harboured the impression that social media was for the young and trendy, and therefore, the reverse was true; being on social media made you young and trendy. I was in for a surprise when a member of Gen-Z told me otherwise. The fateful incident occurred when we were at a gathering with our friends. A tween plonked herself next to me. She caught me skimming through my Facebook feed.

“Do you still use Facebook, Aunty?”

I recoiled at the word ‘Aunty’ and not without reason. Many years ago, a popular Indian advertisement aired on television. The protagonist, a woman in her thirties, was addressed ‘Aunty’ because of her silvery mane. She dramatically winced in slow motion, then coated her hair with a popular hair dye. In a reverse-aging transformation, people started to call her ‘Didi’ (elder sister), instead. The average Indian woman developed an aversion to the word ‘Aunty’ after this advertisement. Some marketing geniuses must have won awards for this campaign, but they traumatised an entire generation of women.

I ignored the tween’s tiny transgression. Her blatant disregard for Facebook, which was my sacred altar of self-expression, shocked me.

“Err…If not Facebook, what do you use?” I asked hesitantly.

“Instagram, of course! All my friends are on it,” the troublemaker declared proudly.

“Oh, I have Instagram, too,” I hesitantly admitted, hoping to make an impression.

The fact that I barely used it was irrelevant. That’s when my radar beeped red.

“Wait, aren’t you too young to be on social media?”

“Err…I have to go…bye!”  The terrible tween vanished.

Did I scare her off? Or did she scare me? We will never know.

Motherhood: mayhem and magic.

The morning alarm woke me up. The last thing I recalled from the night before was putting the child to bed, telling her a bedtime story, kissing her goodnight, and then blanking out. I had managed nine hours of deep sleep, beating my monthly average by at least thirty per cent, and thereby setting a new record.

“Husband, why didn’t you wake me up?”

There was no reply from the other side of the bed. I groaned, remembering that the better half was travelling, and I had only myself to blame for this unintended siesta-fiesta.

Me: Munchkin, I fell asleep early yesterday. I have loads to do today.

Child: It’s okay, Amma. Parents need rest, too. You are doing a great job!

Me: Aww!

Resting ensures that we are healthy enough to achieve our thirteen impossible tasks. To the mother reading this, give yourself a pat on the back. Rather than being a Wonder Woman, work towards feeling wonderful.

The magic of motherhood is that it can transform you from a Wondering Woman to a Wonder Woman and vice versa, all in a split second. – Drama Mama.

Extracted from Lalitha Ramanathan's 'Parenting Unplugged: The Drama Mama Series', published by Om Books International.