Divorce And Remarriage: Why Is It Still A Taboo In South Asian Countries?

Ever wondered what mothers often tell their daughters before marriage? "Jo ho jaaye, apna ghar nahi todna." (No matter what happens, don't break your marriage.) It’s a bit controversial, but it’s always struck me as strange when elders bless men with "Chiranjeevi Bhava" (Wish you eternal life) and women with "Sada Suhaagan Raho" (May your husband live a long life).

In a society where a woman is expected to be wholly devoted to her husband, divorce has long been stigmatised. If a woman leaves her husband, she is often labelled as "too modern" or unwilling to adjust. Conversely, if a man leaves his wife, she is blamed for the marriage's failure. Her supposed inability to maintain the household suddenly becomes the cause of the divorce. The question remains—why is it that women always seem to bear the harsher end of the stick?

How Mahira Khan Inspired Us To Embrace A Second Chance

Pakistani actress Mahira Khan's recent interview with Haroon Rashid on BBC, where she candidly discussed her decision to give love another chance, was truly heartening to watch. Despite having millions of fans worldwide who support her, the way she spoke about her wedding day reflected the profound hardships she had endured in the past as a single mother. Her slightly choking voice and proud, determined eyes inspired millions of women, giving them the courage to embrace second chances and believe in love once more.

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Perhaps the only reason I’ve truly appreciated Indian television shows is when they depict a woman’s remarriage. These serials have not only normalised the concept but also brought such discussions into the living rooms of countless families. Even today, many South Asian households prefer traditional TV shows over OTT platforms, making them powerful vehicles for social change. Normalising a woman’s remarriage on these shows has the potential to challenge and change deep-rooted biases, sparking a much-needed wave of progress.

Nowadays, women’s lives feel no less than a video game, with the difficulty levels increasing as they progress. One of the most challenging levels to navigate after divorce is remarriage. Society often categorises women who remarry into three distinct labels: Widow, Divorcee, and Single Mother.

The Double Standards Faced by Single Mothers

Elders often emphasise that marriage is a union of two families. In a patriarchal society, however, it is primarily the woman who is expected to ensure her husband feels secure in their relationship. This expectation includes carrying no emotional baggage from past relationships into this new union.

Single mothers, in particular, face a unique set of societal pressures. They are often expected to remain unattached, dedicating their lives solely to nurturing their child from a previous relationship. The idea of a single mother seeking companionship or remarriage is still met with scepticism.

One of the biggest taboos single mothers face in a new relationship is balancing the dynamics between their child and their new family. A woman marrying a man with children is expected to immediately take on the role of a mother and love them selflessly. On the other hand, a man who shows even minimal care for his wife’s children is often hailed as admirable and extraordinary by the society. 

As much as remarriage remains taboo, women need to prioritize their happiness over the stigmatized views that society continues to uphold. Maybe, one day we will witness elders blessing women with Aayushmati Bhava.  (May you live a long life).

Views expressed by the author are their own.