Being A 'Tradwife' Is Not A Cute Aesthetic And Its Time We Talk About It

Prim pinafore dresses and tightly coiled hair, freshly dried linens on the line, butter churned from scratch, and a red-lipped smile fixed for her husband’s return from work. Sounds like a scene straight out of a 1950s American household? What if I told you this is actually an 'aesthetic' that many influencers in the West have been flocking to adopt today? "Tradwives" (traditional wives) are dominating our social media feeds, with their glamorous portrayals of domestic life, untouched by modern urban chaos.

The effort these women put into maintaining an appearance from decades ago and hunting down old-timey furniture from thrift stores or yard sales to decorate their apartment is certainly admirable. However, beyond this surface-level charm lies a cultural shift. For some, the tradwife life a nostalgic return to ‘simpler times'. For others, it raises questions about gender roles, privilege, and the romanticisation of an era that was far from idyllic, especially for women.

Tradwives trend

The tradwife trend simply started as an appreciation of 'vintage' aesthetics, but soon turned disturbing, with women adopting regressive societal expectations and family dynamics that feminists have struggled for years to change. Whether it's rigid gender roles or outdated ideals of female submission, tradwife content creators are bringing them all back.

One such influencer is Estee Williams, who can be called the 'final boss' of all tradwives online. She uses her platform to share vlogs of her day: Making her bed with frilly sheets, getting dressed in a pinup dress, face full of makeup, and curled hair, and then cooking and cleaning before her husband gets home from work.

Sounds harmless so far? Williams does not stop there. She also shares conservative relationship advice, strict gender roles, and tips on being a submissive wife to the Lord (husband), just like "the Bible says". This good ol' American influencer became a controversial sensation in 2023 for her promotion of ultra-traditional views.

Williams said in one of her videos that she chose the tradwife lifestyle because she was burned out from her career before. Her choice to become a homemaker for this reason is commendable, as it is not easy for women to make such life-altering decisions despite suffering for a long time. However, her generalised attitude towards women in the workforce is regressive and harmful to women's rights. 

In her high-pitched voice and convincing tone, Williams says that household chores are a woman's job and making money is a man's job. She quotes biblical phrases and calls these gender roles "the way it was intended to be." The irony in all this? Williams claims she is a homemaker, but her perfectly curated tradwife algorithm is a marketing strategy that has gained her lakhs of social media followers and several brand deals.

What Tradwives Promote

The "tradwife" life signifies a departure from conventional career-oriented paths in favour of prioritising home life, family, and personal well-being. While some herald this trend as a refreshing departure from the pressures of contemporary society, others view it through a critical lens, questioning its sustainability and implications for gender equality.

Some tradwife influencers obliviously share their experience of servitude to their husbands, calling it their "duty to be a caring housewife." It is also to be noted that the tradwife concept is also harmful to men, as the burden of financially supporting the family is solely dumped on them. 

Tradwives say that it is their ultimate goal in life to submit to their husband. Some even reject women's higher education, under the pretence that "college is where drugs and rampant sex happen." This encouragement to become more conservative and regressive is setting a bad example for not only young social media users but also their children. 

Tradwife influencers claim that they are the "true feminists", as they made the choice not to work; They use the argument of"women's choice" as a jab at women who dismiss their lifestyle. As red-pill influencers began gaining popularity and grooming incels on social media, the tradwife concept is becoming more widely accepted. Many such conservative social media users think of tradwives as the perfect bait to trigger women. 

Tradwives in India

The tradwife fever has made its way to many other countries, including India, where young women are taking to their social media feeds to share 'day in my life' videos as 20-year-old newlyweds talking about being a happy homemaker, their red-and-gold bangles clinking as they drown themselves in chores even before the break of dawn. No, ma'am, the 1960s romantic background song and cinematic shots are not masking the disturbing reality of your life. 

The glamorisation of unpaid labour and subservience packaged as empowerment is hard to ignore. These reels are appealing only to the male gaze, as proved by the comment section filled with men writing things like, "Feminists getting triggered" or "Aaj kal aise ladkiyan kahan milti hain?" Men in countries like India continue to romanticise obedience and subservience, the same cycles of invisibility and sacrifice that their mothers suffered.

In less privileged countries, most women already live the so-called aesthetic tradwife lifestyle. Many women are still forced to discontinue their education and careers to become homemakers, while many others are subject to dowry, domestic violence, and violence over personal choices like their social circle and clothing. 

So, as an Indian woman, it feels ridiculous to come across reels of women preaching the tradwife lifestyle, which sets feminism back by decades. The tradwife trend reeks of privilege and disconnect from the real world, completely negating the struggle that minority women continue to fight for to this day. 

Views expressed by the author are their own