Reality Check: Is Your 'Soft-Girl Era' Really Practical?

There's a new trend of soft girl living going on the internet these days. The girl who promotes slow living, journals her life, lives with boundaries and a cup of coffee in her hand, and has no guilt or responsibilities. Now, look at the real survival in India. The woman next to you in the metro probably woke up at 5 a.m., packed lunch, checked office messages, worried about rent, avoided a creepy stare, and still showed up looking “put together.” She may not be journaling. She’s calculating.

What the Soft Girl Trend Gets Right

Let’s be fair. The soft girl idea pushes back against burnout culture. It tells women they don’t need to prove their worth through constant productivity. It normalises saying no. It encourages emotional care. After decades of glorifying the “strong woman who handles everything,” softness sounds like relief.

Indian women have historically been taught to adjust, sacrifice, and endure. In that context, choosing calm and protecting mental health can feel powerful. The desire for softness is not foolish but is a response to real exhaustion.

Living in Constant Reality

Here is the reality for most Indian women, where safety is not guaranteed, the unsaid pressure of being independent is a constant hurt, taking the toxic comments in the workplace and cannot leave the job because your family depends on your income.

The Survival Girl calculates everything. Is this route safe? Can I afford to leave this job? If I delay marriage, what will people say?

All of this is not an escape but a strategy to drive your life through. The uncomfortable truth is that softness becomes easier when basic needs are secure. When you don’t fear harassment. When your income is steady. When domestic work is shared. When your family respects your choices. Without stability, softness can feel risky.

Problem With Turning Softness Into Standard

Now women are expected to be calm, healed, emotionally regulated, glowing, and balanced. If you are stressed, angry, or tired, you’re seen as doing life wrong. Sometimes you are not soft because life hasn’t given you softness. 

Sometimes you are ambitious because you have no backup plan. Women who feel secure can afford to slow down. Women who don’t feel secure stay sharp. Both are responding to their realities. Many Indian women actually live in both worlds at once. They are soft with friends, siblings, and partners. But they are strategic at work and in public.

Beyond The Trend

The question is not whether women should be soft or strong, but what kind of environment allows them to choose freely between the two.

Softness cannot survive in constant insecurity. It grows where there is safety, shared responsibility, financial stability and respect. In India, many women are not rejecting softness; they are postponing it. They are building careers and supporting families.

Softness should be a choice, not a privilege. And until that choice feels safe for all, trends will remain aspirational while reality will continue to be demanded.

Views expressed by the author are their own.