In Love Until We Compared: The Invisible Damage Of Digital Age

In an age where love is constantly on display—filtered, framed, and fed to us one reel at a time—it’s easy to start second-guessing the quiet, real moments that make our own relationships meaningful. We measure connection against curated timelines, intimacy against algorithm-approved gestures, and slowly, without realising, begin to doubt what once felt solid. This isn’t just about envy or insecurity—it’s about how comparison, disguised as romantic hashtags and compatibility quizzes, slowly erodes the foundation of trust. And too often, we don’t even see it happening.

Someone once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and we often hear it without realising just how deep and damaging it really is. The most precious parts of our lives—like love, connection, and trust—are quietly exposed to the sharp edge of this habit, often without us even noticing. We begin asking ourselves: Why isn't he like him? Why isn’t our relationship like theirs? Are we falling behind? 

Zodiacs, Reels & Doubt: What’s Hurting Your Relationship

Even in the most caring relationships, comparison quietly enters like an uninvited guest—bringing insecurity, distrust, and the constant urge to validate what once felt natural. 

Remember that old apple metaphor? One rotten apple can spoil the whole basket. Now imagine that stale apple is the doubt and insecurity we accumulate through comparison, and the fresh, untouched apples are our relationships. Even if the relationship is healthy, kind, and loving, those negative thoughts begin to rot it from within. Not because the love was weak, but because we let in something that never belonged there in the first place. 

And then our anxieties grow so loud that we start scouring the internet, looking for external validations—for our own behaviour and our partner’s. It’s like offering water to the thirsty: we crave certainty, and anything that looks like an answer feels like relief. 

That’s where astrology swoops in with its “magic of the universe.” We start making accounts on astrological platforms, asking if he or she is really the one. We consult astrologers, read daily horoscopes, and watch tarot videos—desperately trying to decode whether we should invest in this person or let go. 

And just like that, a bond that was meant to be nurtured through emotions, conversations, and shared moments becomes a calculated equation. 

One mismatched prediction—“You have 50% compatibility” or “Your zodiacs clash”—and suddenly, the entire relationship is in question. We forget what we were building. We let algorithms and generalised readings override our own experiences. 

What we often miss is this: these platforms thrive on clicks, not connections. They are businesses, not oracles. They don't know the way your partner makes us smile when you're sad, or how you both stayed on call during your worst days. But we let them shape the narrative anyway. 

A thousand personality tests can’t tell you anything real about your partner—or even about yourself. Oh, you both don’t like coffee? Sorry, you're not a match. Suddenly, your entire bond is disqualified by an algorithm. 

Instead of acknowledging our own unhealthy behaviours, we go searching for convenient tags to label them—so we can justify actions we’re too afraid to confront. But let’s be honest: if it’s unhealthy, it’s unhealthy. No quiz, zodiac, or reel can excuse that. And it’s high time we stop letting baseless insecurities creep in just because we saw someone else’s version of love online or offline. 

One reel showing how “he surprised her with flowers after a fight,” and suddenly we’re questioning—“Wait, is that how love is supposed to look?” We scroll past “10 signs they truly love you,” and wonder—“Is my partner even trying?” 

Just like that, we forget the story we’re building and start mourning one we were never meant to live. 

We don’t know what happens behind the camera. We don’t know if it’s staged, scripted, or shaped for a brand deal. But we still let it whisper into our heads that something is missing in our own story. 

We forget—we’re not robots. We’re not built with the same love algorithm. No test can measure the warmth of someone remembering the small things about you. No compatibility score can define what you two share in moments when the world isn’t watching. 

Maybe we’ve fallen in love with the idea of love—how it looks to others—instead of how it feels to us. And that’s the real heartbreak. 
Because truthfully, we all felt the happiest and the most loved until we consumed this venom of comparison. 

 Views expressed by the author are their own.