Should Couples Unfollow Each Other On Social Media After Break-Up?

Break-ups are one of the toughest phases of life. What makes it even more depressing is the fact that it is not considered serious. People take it lightly or even mock those who are sad about it. Break-ups feel as if the ground just slipped under your feet. You are stupefied because a pattern, person and personality suddenly ceased to exist. You are disoriented because you don't know how to fill the emptiness rather than the pinching memories of the ex. But, it is a phase in life and it will pass. However, my question is why do people unfollow their exes on social media? Is it because they don't want to know the updates of their lives? Or is it because they feel instigated when the ex finds a new partner? 

Remember the movie Kho Gaye Hum Kahan? Ananya Pandey's character who goes through a break-up uses social media to keep track of her ex's activities. Not only this, she uses the platform to add her life updates to 'show' that she is enjoying singlehood, going on dates and posing in sexy dresses. However, the reality behind it is both miserable and relatable. 

How social media creates an imaginary world 

This is exactly what social media does to us. We tend to judge people based on their pictures without even thinking about the story behind those clicks. When a couple is in a relationship, they feel free to create "lovey-dovey" posts to showcase their love and seek validation. But what happens when they break up? Do they delete those posts? Do they forget the imagery they created on social media through their love story? 

Especially in the case of celebrities, their love stories become viral as couple goals. People start admiring their chemistry and wishing the same in their personal lives. But when celebrity couples announce break-ups, the followers are shattered just like their imagination of a perfect love story. 

Why don't break-up goals trend on social media?

As couples create couple goals, aren't they responsible for creating break-up goals too? Sounds weird? Think of it this way, if break-up goals trend on the internet, not only will break-up blues be normalised but also provide with various ways to deal with the break-up. Just like couple goals make us imagine happiness in companionship, break-up goals will help us find happiness in singlehood. 

However, as per the latest trend, couples who break up tend to unfollow each other on social media. Sometimes, this itself becomes a sign of their break-up, even though they haven't made it official. Unfollowing exes on social media might seem a way to cut them off from your lives. But how will you stop the people with shattered imaginations from questioning your decision? How will you stop the blame game trolls play to shame the couples for breaking up? Just how will you deal with the criticism that 'love is not real', 'current generation is devoid of emotions' or 'people just want sex and not commitment'?   

I am not suggesting that you should pay heed to trolls or negative criticism. But you need to realise your responsibility as an active social media user to influence the public. If you are open about your relationships, you shouldn't shy away from talking about break-ups. In fact, both people involved in relationships which have now broken must come together to enlighten other users about the reality of break-ups too. 

Why unfollowing each other after a break-up is not an answer

Unfollowing each other social media is not an answer to dealing with break-up blues. When you follow someone on social media, you support them despite the relationship you have with them. Breaking up with a person doesn't mean you stop supporting them or their work. Of course, we tend to unfollow people who share toxic stuff on social media. But this is a homogenisation. Not every person you broke up with needs to share toxic stuff. Maybe in the first phase of break-up, they might share posts supporting or opposing their break-up. But that alone doesn't define their personality. As it is rightly said, your past and trauma don't define your present. 

You can avoid talking to your exes or engaging with their posts. But once the phase of break-up blues is over, you will be able to see them as individuals with goals. So don't unfollow. Rather try to collaborate and build break-up goals. If not this, at least don't spread negativity by unfollowing and cutting exes off from your lives. It portrays a negative example for people who are or aren't going through break-ups. People come to social media for respite from the glooms of the real life. And if social media will also make them disoriented, wouldn't they feel helpless? Otherwise, what could be the reason behind people posting 'relatable' posts on their accounts? Let's make break-up goals too a trend. 

"The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward," Steve Maraboli

Views expressed are the author's own.