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Redditors Reveal Golden Lessons Learnt From Toxic Relationships

These bubbles or relationships aren't always the worst, but if you ignore each other's red flags while you're together, they get harder over time, and if you don't address and work on them, they eventually get worse.

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Priya Prakash
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Relationships are often believed to be a closed-off bubble in which a couple is constantly surrounded by love, but this is all in the minds of others. People who have experienced relationships know that this bubble contains a whole lot more than just love. Fortunately, for several unfortunate reasons, when this bubble bursts, it leaves a lesson to be learned on how to create or live in another bubble for a longer period of time.
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Even though this burst can be painful and have a lasting effect on an individual, there is always a lesson that the universe wants you to learn. Everything cannot be taught through books, professors, family, or friends; therefore, the universe picked out a few people to be the special ones who will lead you to learn those life lessons. However, because of the agony or trauma you suffer from, it may not be immediately obvious to you, but after some time passes, you realise how fortunate you were to leave that worst bubble.

These bubbles or relationships aren't always the worst, but if you ignore each other's red flags while you're together, they get harder over time, and if you don't address and work on them, they eventually get worse. On Reddit, users shared valuable lessons they learned from their worst relationships.

Lessons Learnt From Toxic Relationships

Power Balance In A Relationship

In this heartfelt response shared on the Reddit thread, the user emphasised the importance of power balance in a relationship. Though not possessing expertise in relationships, the message struck a powerful chord. According to the user's perspective, a healthy relationship should maintain a fair distribution of power. Giving up too much power can lead to manipulation while taking too much power can make one manipulative. They say that while relationships cannot be perfect, they can be balanced, and perhaps this balance is important in a time when manipulating oneself and other people is an everyday occurrence.

Leave When You Start To Feel Scared

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Another user gave the harsh lesson that you should leave when you start to feel scared in a relationship. You must make your own decisions, and if you fear doing that, Simply LEAVE without asking any questions. Fear in a relationship may seem irrational, but it only occurs in situations where there is an imbalance of power, such as in abusive or controlling dynamics. Fear may also result from feeling trapped or helpless. The dread can be reduced, and a healthier and safer environment can be fostered through open communication, boundary setting, asking friends or professionals for support, and, if necessary, seeking help in such circumstances; otherwise, you will end up being a doormat for your partner.

Avoid Being A Doormat

Being a doormat in a relationship is exactly what a third user advised against. If your partner treats you like a doormat, your relationship is the worst possible kind. Being a "doormat" in a relationship means that your needs are not valued or prioritised, even though you are the one who consistently puts your partner's needs first. You might experience a relationship where you feel cheated on or taken advantage of as a result. The other person is most likely not really attracted to you if you appear to be like a doormat to maintain the relationship. They enjoy the fact that you are a doormat.

Communication Is Not The Key every time

Effective communication is often touted as the solution to all relationship issues, but as the fourth user wisely pointed out, it's not always that simple, you can’t communicate with someone who is choosing not to understand. You may try to convey your feelings and concerns to your partner, but there's a distinction between merely listening and genuinely understanding. Despite communicating openly, there's no guarantee that your partner will value or comprehend your perspective and that their actions and gestures will reveal the truth.  

Being Betrayed Was Not Your Fault

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The fifth user shared a harsh yet crucial lesson, a lesson that we all learn the hard way: cheaters cheat because it's inherent to their character; it's not a reflection of their partner's worth. Being betrayed is the worst experience in a relationship, with no cap, but it's essential to realise that the responsibility lies solely with the person who cheated. While the journey of healing may be challenging and leave you feeling empty, remember that you deserve unwavering, committed love. Never settle for someone who doesn't prioritise you, as you deserve to be with someone who cherishes and respects you wholeheartedly.

Read more responses here.

Views expressed by the author are their own.


Suggested Reading: How Healthy Flirting Can Sometimes Turn Into Traumatic Experience For Women


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