UP Groom Kisses Bride On Stage; Girl's Family Ends Up Beating Him

What does a kiss cost in our society? Shaming, blaming and brawling. A harmless and romantic gesture of kissing invites a lot of criticism. Two people cannot kiss in public in our country because if they do, you never know what befalls them. A similar case happened in UP where the bride's family beat up a groom and his family because the groom kissed the bride during the varmala ceremony. 

How A Kiss Created Chaos At A Wedding Ceremony 

As per the reports, when the groom kissed the bride on the varmala stage, the bride's family members were enraged. They accused the groom of 'forcibly' kissing the bride. However, the bride herself wanted to be kissed during the varmala ceremony, as it was reported. Consequently, the family members of the bride climbed on the stage and started beating the groom and his family with sticks. 

The marriage ceremony was performed at the Ashok Nagar area of Hapur. Two sisters were getting married together. While the elder sister's marriage was peacefully conducted, a ruckus was created during the younger sister's marriage.

After the ruckus, the families wanted to call off the wedding. However, the couple refused and said that they wanted to marry. Lastly, the elders decided that the wedding would take place on another day.

Police action and arrests

Hapur ASP Rajkumar Agrawal told the media, "In the dead of night, around 1.30 am, a call came in, summoning police...Nearly a dozen folks found themselves detained, booked under CrPC 151 (arrest to prevent the commission of cognisable offences). Five ended up at the hospital, nursing injuries, before being discharged. However, no official complaints reached the police station."

Police have charged six people in the case for disturbing public peace. 

Not the first time that PDA has been condemned

In June 2022, a video of a couple bathing in the Sarayu river of Ayodhya went viral. The couple were ‘caught’ kissing each other while bathing. Other people in and around the river thrashed, slapped and abused the husband for kissing his wife in public space, especially in a holy space like Ayodhya. Terming the act as vulgar, people even misbehaved with the wife who was trying to protect her husband.

In September 2023, a video from Delhi Metro went viral in which a woman was seen schooling a couple for PDA. The couple was holding hands and pinching each other's cheeks. The woman then insisted that the couple must do all this somewhere outside, not inside the metro. When co-passengers tried to defend the couple, the woman said, "Bahar jaakar karo ye sab". 

In June 2023, an image of a couple visibly kissing inside the Delhi Metro on the yellow line surfaced on the internet. Many people criticised, shamed and judged the couple. However, there were another lot of people who normalised PDA. If we look at PDAs from a legal framework, couples can roam around and sit together in public places. However, they must not indulge in "obscene acts". 

What is obscene? 

Now, let us break down what obscene entails. If kissing in public is obscene, then why aren't men peeing and masturbating in public? If holding hands and being cosy in public is obscene, then why isn't harassing and groping women in public a crime people should be reprimanded for instantly? Why are people uptight only when it comes to consensual romance? 

Western culture influences us in many ways, not just through PDA

Society reasons for its criticism against PDA by saying that it is a Western culture that is deteriorating Indian traditions. But, when you say Western culture, do you realise how much it has been normalised? From the clothes you wear to the education you pursue are all influenced by Western culture. When these things are not affecting Indian culture, then why PDA? 

How Indian culture is rich with sexual innuendos

Even if we keep Western culture aside, what do Indian traditions tell us about PDA? In India, there are temples, especially the Khajuraho temple, where idols of Gods in sexual positions are openly visible. Moreover, the Shiv ling and yoni that society worships also have sexual innuendo. Most importantly, India is where the origin of Kamasutra exists, the book about healthy sex and relationships. 

When sex is so deeply embedded in Indian culture, why then does society oppose consensual couples from engaging in PDA? Doesn't that sound hypocritical? Rather than schooling couples who consensually indulge in romance in public, society must channel its criticism on those who indulge in nonconsensual acts. 

Views expressed are the author's own.