Is The ‘Modern Man’ Helping Out At Home?
A lot of things are changing in India (for the better). We can decide to look away, but things are much better than they used to be. One of these changes is that the modern, working, independent woman is taking charge of her own life.
Although many women would say that marriage isn’t important to them, many get married to men of their choice. Feminist men are their favourite. The ones who believe that men and women should be given equal opportunities for everything, who don’t discriminate by gender. Does it sound all like a fairytale?
We spoke to women around the world, and realised that when women make decisions for themselves, they do a damn good job of it! Like their decision to choose their husbands.
A marriage means a 50-50 partnership between a husband and a wife. Modern India understands this, and especially the modern men.
Jennifer Lumina Francis, a resident of Bangalore, got married last year. She told us that her husband helps her out even if he comes home late. She said, “He always helps me out, every time. For his help, I have to let go of the other annoying things he does, which totally gets on my nerves!”. In marriage, we have to make compromises I suppose. In rural areas, it is unheard of that, the husband helps the wife out with ‘homely duties’, such as cooking, cleaning, laundry and more. The husband simply earns, and the wife does the rest. Of course, this is unfair, but to change these gender norms, we have to raise awareness.
Also read: Is Gender Equality still light years away?
“I think today most men know they should help out with housework, but whether the help offered is genuine, actually useful and does not need a redo is arguable!”
Delphine D’Souza, a resident of Dubai has a two-year-old baby boy who keeps her on her toes. She says, “After 7 years of my marriage and having a 2-year-old, I simply cannot do without my husband. I work and we both help each other because it is definitely not easy when you have a demanding 2-year-old with a soiled diaper. My husband is a hands-on dad. I don’t need to tell him what to do. He does everything except for cooking and breastfeeding, of course. There are days where I play the I gave birth card to get my nap times.”
Sushma Bharath, 35, a resident of Bangalore who has been married for 8 years talks about it more pragmatically, “I think today most men know they should help out with housework, but whether the help offered is genuine, actually useful and does not need a redo is arguable! My husband in all fairness does offer help, but I find that the amount of explanation I need to give him along with the activity is far more difficult than just simply doing it myself.”
Sushma also explains that ‘housework‘ can be many different things, such as, “Anything to do with the car, insurance, paperwork is also important ‘work’, but I quite easily palm it off to him. So, I guess it is more a division of labour based on our skill sets, areas of interest and competence”. An interesting perspective on housework – divide it based on skill sets!
“Since I study and work, my husband cooks when I have to study or I come home late from work. We usually divide smaller chores among us, and the bigger ones we tackle together.”
Anjana, a 28-year old from Sydney said, “Since I study and work, my husband cooks when I have to study or I come home late from work. We usually divide smaller chores among us, and the bigger ones we tackle together.”
We like the fact that she used the word ‘tackle’, it makes it feel like a challenge and not only do you do it with your lifelong partner, you feel a sense of accomplishment when you complete the task – no matter how small.
I also feel a sense of gratitude towards their husbands because they are changing the norms of gender roles, and that in itself is a priceless thing!
Most women that we spoke to told us that their husbands help out. With these women we can see a wind of change, these women have chosen the right partners. Together as a couple, they are changing the norms of gender roles, and that in itself is a priceless thing!
Pic credits: ABC News