From Iftaari Prep To Henna: Women Tell Us Their Cherished Eid Memories

“I was eight years old when I first observed a fast for Ramadan. That is my earliest memory," recounted Mariya Salim, a researcher who grew up in Kolkata. Ramzan evokes such precious memories from people’s childhoods that it also reminds us a bit of how we were probably a decade back and makes us ponder over how things have changed over the years. The month-long festival that culminates into the Eid fervour is something that most Muslims duly celebrate each year worldwide. 

Women share their Ramzan memories with SheThePeople

"We celebrated by inviting others my age from my neighbourhood to open their fast with our family. Also, since I stay in a Muslim-dominated neighbourhood, I would accompany my father on weekends when he would go and bring Haleem and the famous 'bhajiya and Imarti' from Haji Allauddin, a shop which is nearly 100 years old, located close by,” shared Mariya Salim.

“We always have a minimum of three items when we have iftaar as a family and are not living in different cities. There is always something fried, either pakoras or keema stuffed bread rolls, one boiled dish - a chana or chola of some sort and fruits. We always open our fast with dates and a prayer,” she added.

Golfer Afshan Fathima, who grew up in a nuclear family in Jaipur, recalls folding the Keema samosas and helping her mother cook iftaar food. “I remember helping my mother, and in fact, everyone including my brothers would do some chore or the other and we would cook the meal together and then eat it together. The memory is still deeply etched in my mind,” says Fathima, adding that she is so particular about Ramzan celebrations that she skips tournaments during the months to spend time with her family.

Fouzia, a Dastango artist who grew up in Old Delhi in the 80s, remembers drinking Tukhmira ka sharbat and eating Pheni and Khajla with freshly made phulki at Sehri time. “We used to wake up at three in the morning when my mother would cook the food that early in the morning. Then after iftaar, which has always been a very delicious affair with fried snacks, I remember my mother and aunts would get to knitting and sewing and making embroideries on curtains of the house and sewing our dresses. Earlier, everything used to be handmade, and so nighttime was when the women would start working on Eid decorations."

Even Bushra Ismail, who is an entrepreneur, reminisces about the Ramzans she spent with her family when she lived with her parents in Kolkata. “I remember marking the days gone by in a calendar to keep track of how many rozas were over because it was a run-up to Eid and family celebrations.

"The women of my house were all working, so during the Ramzan month, we would all disperse in the morning to our respective schedules and reconvene at 4.30 p.m. to prep for iftaar, which is when all four of us, and sometimes even extended family, came together to break the fast. My dad, brother, and I used to pitch in to help mom in the kitchen and to set the table. It’s still a family tradition," Islmail said.

For beautician and artist Neha Ahmed from Hyderabad, the fun of Eid was all in the prep, like shopping for new clothing or applying henna with all the ladies in the neighbourhood. She spoke about the sisterhood displayed during the henna application festivities. "Women helping each other tie their hair, holding each other's things, feeding each other, and just enjoying the moment without any worries is so beautiful to see."

Ramzan then and now...

Some have come to a point where they don’t consider fasting throughout the month. Its meaning has also changed over the years as modern Muslim people don’t believe in the idea of abstinence as much as it was in the past. “What has changed over the years is that knowing the difference between just staying hungry for fun or as a challenge and fasting because you believe in the spiritual blessings it brings to your life, and knowing how precious the month is,” notes author Andaleeb Wajid.

Her earliest memory is of the vacations that her family spent in Hong Kong because her father had his business there. “I remember sitting down at the Kowloon Masjid with my mother for iftaari, the delicious chicken Ganji and samosas that we ate there.”

While Ismail would keep rozas with her family, she discontinued doing it after she moved out of her house and came to work in New Delhi. “I tried it once or twice in the beginning when I had just moved out, but I realised I couldn’t do it without the support of my family. The fact that my mother would feed me healthy food at Sehri would make me go on with my day with ease, but living alone, I couldn’t manage it, and so I dropped the idea. Although, I still make it a point to visit my family during Eid because that is special,” she said.

Similarly, Urdu poetry artist Afreen Akhtar also does not fast anymore during Ramzan because she moved out of her house. “Frankly, I never liked the idea of forced fasting because one belongs to a certain religion. I know that children are forced to keep rozas even when they don’t understand the meaning of it. Why should I do it when I know that I am not going to practice abstinence? All I think of it is that there should be a choice for everyone.” She raised an important point of how one should not be looked down upon for not keeping roza.

On the other hand, Wajid likes settling into a new routine for a month and getting used to waking up at odd hours. “I also enjoy not having to wonder what to make for lunch or breakfast, and my kids don't trouble me saying they're hungry all the time because they're also fasting! Strangely enough, I am much more productive during Ramzan because there are no interruptions until the evening when we start preparing iftaari.”