Through Military Life And Beyond: Love From The Age Of Letter Writing

Love Letters
Couples belonging to the armed forces share some special kind of love and strength; a strength that is unfathomable but also inspiring. In this Valentine’s day series, let’s look at one such story from when technology wasn’t advancing but handwritten letters were, and that’s what kept this couple in love anchored and connected.

Capt Dharamveer takes SheThePeople through his decades-old love story with his spouse, Sunita, how their love grew through letters across army posting, and what makes their marriage work.

Love Letters and more

“I was in class eight when Sunita shifted into the house above mine. She was about three older than me. As neighbours, we saw each other frequently and soon became good friends. Two years later, she moved to BHU, Varanasi, for her graduation, but we continued to be good friends.

After high school, I moved to JNU for graduation, and a year later, Sunita completed her graduation at BHU and enrolled in NIFT Delhi for her post-graduation. Being in the same city, we started spending time together, and soon, we started dating. Since she was older than me, her parents began to look for a suitable groom as soon as she completed her PG.
We told our parents about us, and it didn’t go well. Her parents did not want her to marry a college student. We assured our parents that we had no intention of taking any wrong steps.

It was 1999, the Kargil war was going on, and everyone in the Army was highly respected. So, I decided to join the Army. I got selected on the first attempt and got us the time we needed. We got married after my training in OTA and got commissioned in Nov 2002. We spent very little time together as I was posted in Operation Parakram as soon as I got married.

There was a time when I was stuck in snowfall for 39 days without any communication. That was the toughest as there were no means to let my family know I was alright. During my posting in Kashmir, My wife wrote letters to me almost every day. They would come in different orders, and it used to get difficult to understand the context of the letters, so we started numbering them.

I would wait for the right-numbered letter before moving on to the next. There were times with no verbal communication for months, and her letters would be my only anchor. In the times when technology was not so advanced, we bonded over long letters.

Sunita has always been my backbone. We have had our share of ups and downs, but we have always stuck to each other. Today we have been married for 20 years and blessed with beautiful children, but we always were and are each other’s best friends, and that’s what has made our love and relationship stronger.”

As narrated to Saloni Karnani, Team STP

Suggested reading: Manifesting Our Filmy Love Story: How We Found A Soulmate In Each Other