Three People Pleasing Habits That Are Unhealthy

People-pleasing is such a deeply established habit for many of us that we aren't conscious of doing it. People-pleasing may appear innocuous. After all, we're merely attempting to make other people happy, so what could possibly go wrong? Is it really that awful if we usually don't get what we want? People-pleasing undermines us, our relationships, and even the people we are attempting to please, although we are not always fully conscious of this.

It is extremely important to stop being a people pleaser as it grows out to be an unhealthy practice for ourselves without even knowing it.

Three Unhealthy People Pleasing Habits

1. Saying 'NO' Is A Difficult Task

Some of us individuals find "refusing" an impossible job. We go beyond our comfort zones to get things done for others. We end up pushing ourselves to the limit to please others, which takes a toll on our well-being, mentally as well as physically.

It's critical to remember that developing the ability to say "no" is a crucial life skill that affects our success and general well-being. Setting limits, expressing our needs and wants, and preserving our mental and emotional health all depend on our ability to say "no." Saying "no" to anything allows us to stop and consider our options instead of just making decisions without any consideration. Saying "no" enables us to put our own needs, wants, and health first, which can promote greater personal development. It's important to keep in mind that saying "no" just indicates that we are prioritizing things appropriately and is not an indication of rudeness or selfishness. Never forget that an empty vessel cannot be filled. It's essential to look after oneself. 

2. Always (Over) Apologizing 

Holding ourselves accountable for our behaviour, if not right, is important, however, over-apologizing can negatively impact ourselves, and our self-esteem. 

According to Hamsher, a therapist in Arizona, "People-pleasuring tends to be driven by an attempt to control the other person's emotions and make them feel better by over-apologizing. Even if you didn't mean to hurt them because you find it uncomfortable when others are unhappy."  

Also, Psychotherapist Beverly Engel says in her book, The Power of Apology, “over-apologizing isn’t so different from over-complimenting: You may think you’re displaying yourself as a nice and caring person, but you’re actually sending the message that you lack confidence and are ineffectual.”

Over-apologizing can sometimes destroy our confidence, this is an unhealthy practice for ourselves.

3. Over-Committing To Requests

When we accept more demands than our body or mind can support, we are being overly committed. Overcommitment, which frequently results from a fear of losing out, can lead to worry, tension, and anger. We must set personal and professional limits and say "no" more frequently to avoid overcommitting. We end up having no time for ourselves and start ignoring our own needs, which grows out to be an unhealthy lifestyle practice. This way, we allow people to take advantage of us, and don't make the best of everything for ourselves. 

People-pleasing might seem harmless, but it can lead to serious inconveniences, both physical as well as mental when taken to the extremes.

Helping others makes people pleasers feel good, temporarily. However, there is never an end point where they can relax because there is always something else they could be doing for others. They end up Neglecting themselves, causing stress and depression and reducing their ability to enjoy other people and activities.

Views expressed are the author's own.