The Forgotten Lives Of Older Unmarried Women In India

They turn 35, 40, 45  and society seems to forget they exist. In the eyes of many, once you cross a certain age without a wedding ring, you slip out of the acceptable narrative: you become invisible, or worse, an issue to be fixed. But these are not statistics or problems in waiting: they are real lives, full of hopes, regrets, amounts of resilience, dreams deferred or re-imagined.

Imagine years of watching weddings all around you  siblings, friends, colleagues as relatives whisper about “when will you settle down” or “who will look after you once your parents are gone.”

Imagine no social acknowledgement because “single woman” is not a recognized category. And then there is the quiet loneliness, the soft shame, the creeping fear of invisibility.

This isn’t about pity. It’s about justice. It’s about giving voice to women whose lives many have deemed optional simply because they don’t fit a conventional template.

Everyday Struggles 

Unmarried women above 35 confront practical obstacles that are rarely discussed. In many urban spaces, renting accommodation becomes a battle, landlords hesitate to give houses to single women.

In workplaces, single women especially older ones may be overlooked in favour of married/settled counterparts for perks like housing, promotions or flexible timings.

And as years pass, social exclusion becomes a reality, relatives stop asking about relationships, and conversations about future plans end with awkward silence. 

The Psychological Toll 

When your life choices are constantly questioned, when your presence is treated as temporary until a husband arrives, erodes self-worth. Many older single women live with never ending loneliness or a constant sense of being “waiting.”

Even among educated, financially independent women, there is fear of ageing alone and anxiety about who will look after them.

But the worst pain is of the feeling that your individuality  your identity, ends where your marital status begins.

Why These Lives Must Be Valued

Because the idea of a “complete life” should not be locked behind marriage. Because every woman deserves dignity, respect and autonomy whether she is single, partnered, married or not.

We need public discussion, policy inclusion, and social recognition. We need safe housing access without marital-status discrimination. We need legal protections that treat single women as full citizens with rights to adopt, work, travel, grow old on their own terms.

Most of all, we need empathy, a crucial step in dismantling the unspoken assumption that a woman’s worth ends in marriage.

Let’s stop forgetting them. They are not problems to be fixed or pity to be felt. They are women with lives, with choices, with worth deserving to be seen.

Views expressed by the author are their own.