I was adopted at six months from an orphanage. After adoption my parents brought me to Kolkata but I was not welcomed by my father’s side of relatives so he left home and moved in at my mom’s place. At the age of seven, on bhai dooj my cousin brothers refused to put on a tikka, got up and said, ‘We don't share a blood relationship.’ That is when I got to know they were not my real parents. I was too young to understand what ‘adoption’ really meant. This is Ishitaa's story. She spoke to SheThePeople about how she dealt with being an adopted child and not getting along with her mom her mental health issues and how she became a plus size influencer.
Growing up, my mom wanted me to be like her from all aspects, but I was different-dyslexic and a very slow learner. At school I was always kept away from co-curricular activities. Once I was called out at the annual concert auditions as fat and ugly by classmates. Since I am dusky, my parents had to endure comments like, 'you have adopted a very ugly baby.’ Mom never took me anywhere because she feared being questioned about my religion, caste and real identity. She couldn’t take the denial after sacrificing everything for me. Slowly I started distancing from the person I loved the most, my mom.
I still do not share a very good relationship with my mom. However, that does not deter me. Today I am a confident woman. I worked on my dreams and I am building an identity of my own.
Ishitaa Story: Her relationship with her father
My father always tried to bridge our gaps but my mother had changed. I still remember, I was 13 and was having a general tiff with mom, suddenly she taunted me, ‘You know, your real mother was a prostitute.’ I was stunned.
Insecurities engulfed me, I was always scared, what if they tell me, ‘Don’t come back home… Where would I go then?’ She even wanted me to get married right after school. Finally, my father stood up for me and wanted me to have a career first.
Chasing her dreams
I still do not&t=22s"> share a very good relationship with my mom. However, that does not deter me. Today I am a confident woman. I worked on my dreams and I am building an identity of my own. I presently study fashion designing and active about body positivity on social media. Comments like, ‘proud of the confidence you show’ keep me motivated and going. ‘One day I aspire to launch a label and become a plus size model.’ After 7 years of self hate, trauma and insults, I have realized that life is worth more than these few instances, it is not about being bullied that you are a nobody, but standing up and replying back, 'Hey, I am somebody!'