Real Friends Are Those Who Don’t Have Unreal Expectations In Lockdown

unsolicited advice, unreal expectations lockdown

A few days after the lockdown started, my Facebook and Instagram timelines were flooded with posts on how this is the best time to test a friend’s loyalty. “If they cannot reply to you instantly even during the lockdown, reconsider your value for them,” one such post read. As if all of us have nothing much to do but sit with our phones in our hands all the time, waiting for a chance to prove our loyalty towards our friends and dear ones. Isn’t it foolhardy to put someone’s loyalty to test, at a time when they’re locked in their homes? After all, lockdown isn’t a vacation, and staying at home during this time isn’t the same as staying at home on a regular Sunday.

This post made me realise how social media has turned a toxic place under lockdown for relationships, and even friendships. How can you weigh your value by the gap between your text and its reply? In fact, this is the best time to show that you care, without expecting anything in return along with understanding the situation of the other person.

This is the best time to show that you care, but this is the worst time to expect. Try strengthening your bonds in this crucial time. Try not to judge others on even the minutest of parameters.

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Expecting Others To Check Up On You Frequently

This might sound harsh but the world doesn’t revolve around you. I am so done with people who expect me to check up on them frequently under the lockdown. Don’t they realise that I am in the exact same situation? That I may be dealing with panic and anxiety as well? In fact, a social media friend of mine literally blocked her boyfriend because he doesn’t call her regularly during the lockdown. On approaching the boy, I figured out that he has a lot of work and hence cannot just keep on calling his girlfriend. I have no sympathy for my friend because I can totally get the situation her boyfriend is in. Life has changed so much this past one month and a lot of us are so busy sorting it out that we simply have no bandwidth to reach out to others. Is it too much to ask to be left alone to gather ourselves under these circumstances?

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No Work Load, No Argument

We had a major fight on our friends’ group because one of us felt that despite having no workload, some of us were acting “too busy” to even catch up. While in normal days you have an excuse that the other person might be tensed and hence is pissed, in lockdown, no work means no tension, and hence no argument. Right? Wrong! First of all, many people are working more than usual under the current circumstances. Secondly, coronavirus lockdown has led to professional prospects that are stressful. There’s economic uncertainty, there’s the fear of being fired and the certainty of not getting a raise for the coming few months. While you may not be facing this situation, other people around you may be. It took us a while to get this point across to our friend and while she gets it now, the fact that we had to say it out loud is befuddling

I won’t be preachy but I have learned a lesson or two about friendship under the lockdown. After this is over, I will think twice before accusing them of not having time for me, or not being there by my side when I demand. And this is what something I have written and put up on my wall, to help me be a better friend under the lockdown.

This is the best time to show that you care, but this is the worst time to expect.

Picture Credit- Redbook