Yeah, we’re in unlock. No, reposting yourself folding clothes doesn’t matter anymore. But these reasons are insufficient when it comes to excusing yourself from ghar ka kaam as a young, healthy teen. Think about it this way. You need a workout, and Mom and Dad need a break. Possibly, you want to order in, but you haven’t achieved anything for Ma to say it’s okay. You need to get your life together, but it’s too much effort. Here’s a stepwise solution to all your problems: A Teen Survival Guide to Household Chores.
Step 1: Dusting. Looks deceptively easy, but is the most painstaking of them all. All those notes and clips and bottles and boxes? You have to pick each one up and dust it individually. Picture being in Forever 21 or any other retail shop. Remember sifting through piles of the same top until you find that last ‘S’ right at the bottom and have to whack it for good measure? Just like that.
Whack with the dusting cloth and channel the rage from the torture of online exams.
Step 2: Making the beds. Do you recall all the times Ma said ‘you’ve made your bed, now lie in it’ every time you messed up? Now you actually have to. You don’t have to get your life together, but piling up the blankets will help you think you have. Tuck the sides of the duvet in with those nimble joint-rolling fingers and arrange the linen and pillows as systematically as the school cafeteria groups are segregated. Next, flatten your palms and remove the wrinkles in the bedsheet as smoothly as you think you slide into DMs. Perfect.
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Step 3: Washing Utensils. Grab a Scotch Brite and some dish soap and scrub as hard as you want your BFF to cut off her toxic ex. You can’t remove your snooping mami from your Instagram, but you can remove that oil stain. Make sure the drain isn’t as choked as Laura was in 365 DNI. Rinse and leave the plates to dry up as much as your Snapchat. Well done! Two chores to go!
Step 4: Laundry. This shouldn’t be too hard. As the Gossip Girl generation that also grew up watching Bade Ache Lagte Hai with our Nanis and Dadis, airing out dirty laundry is not an alien concept to us. Best to air them inside on a stand instead of getting them as badly rained on as Monica’s parade was when Rachel kissed Ross at the former’s engagement.
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Step 5: The Final Destination of Chores: Jhaadu-Pocha. Hark, there is no further need to risk twisting your spine while trying to get that perfect Kylie Jenner mirror selfie. Just squat down, and sweep the filth up into a supri like you do with your real whereabouts when you come home late. Once you’ve trashed it worse than Never Have I Ever, prepare the pocha mix. Half a cap of Dettol, another half of phenyl, and one-third of a tiny pail of water should work. Now tie up your hair into the Tumblr messy bun and immerse the dry pocha in the mix, wringing it out like every Wattpad author does the plot of their novel.
Swipe, swipe, swipe on the floor like you do with university webinar emails. Excellent!
Jokes apart, it’s really important to master these skills. It’s no use waiting for our househelp to return, as it is not safe for them to do so yet. Also, this could be your practice run for hostel life. It won’t kill you to help your parents out with something other than placing Swiggy orders. If quarantine has taught us anything after all this time, it’s to avoid taking everything for granted. If you haven’t yet, start now.
The views expressed are the author’s own.