Dear Society, Stop Telling Us Not to Cry As Adults

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What can you do on the outside as a child and after entering adulthood, you have to do on the inside till your organs give up? Hey, you got that right. Crying. Weeping. Wailing . Whimpering. Whining. Wait, phew. 

Let’s get real. Public display of emotion was never entirely acceptable. Burping, farting, judging people, killing people, vandalism, chewing loudly and other acts of questionable social character on the other hand are never really held back. 50 years back, funerals, weddings, hospitals, and places of worship were the hotspots of crying. Boiling with emotions, people rarely held themselves back before having a 2 hour breakdown in the middle of proceedings, whether marriage or funeral. But hey, even these institutions do not allow more than two tear drops for any news, happy or sad. Most of the time, a solemn face with red eyes and quivering lips works for any emotional occasion. “Khushi ke aansu” or “Ghum ke”, public display of emotion is an act just less heinous than taking drugs, and according to the local aunty handbook, is often considered foolish. 

Why are emotions considered childish? Is there a social scale on which our tears weigh less than our laughs?

Why is it normalised to be emotionally constipated? Crying in the restroom is acceptable but accepting a vulnerable moment in public is not? Who said vulnerable is weak? 

1.“Dimaag se socho ” 

Adults are mature. They are supposed to be rational. Their rule is to be logical about everything: from the car they travel in to the food they excrete. But what is the point of this “dimaag se socho”  when their emotional assets are similar to those of toddlers. 

We have demonised our feelings as bricks of unfathomable chaos holding us back. That’s the reason we are afraid to sort and untangle them. Like the shuffled wires of earphones, we carry this mess everywhere until one day we give up out of frustration when our machine doesn’t work. 

Must Read: I Wish I Could Have Shared My Grief With Other Women When I Had A Miscarriage

2.Let your brain burp.

The only difference is we take the time to sort out our wires but not our feelings. Crying relieves your heart of sentimental diarrhoea. When you binge on the new Garlic Manchurian on the street and have to go to the loo at 3 am in the night, your body takes out what it does not need and relieves you of the stale sauces, unwashed vegetables and the unhealthy schezwan chutney which probably is expired. That is your digestive system relieving your intestines of stress. Your last breakup, bad day at gym, distance from a friend, friendzone by bestfriend, rejection by crush, a misogynistic boss, hormonal parlour didi or a measly appraisal- are all things which poop on our plans. Therefore, you also need to relieve your nervous system of this stress. 

3. It’s ok Pushpa, I love tears…

Crying is one of the healthiest ways to face a problem. We need to normalise showing our emotions. A stoic mould of disaffection with our hands in our pockets and our collars up is not going to make us a good player at this game called life. Letting our emotions out, taking a poop for our mind and heart and relieving us of the incessant pressure to be sophisticated is what keeps our nervous system healthy and gives us psychological resilience to handle more chunks. Life is not a red velvet cheesecake for anyone. It can be butter chicken once in a while, decent dal chawal on most days and well, some days it is just karela.

Big deal. Take a box of tissues. Sit on your seat wherever you are and cry. No matter what your gender is. No bar what your religion is. It doesn’t affect who you vote for. Who cares what your bank balance is. Whether you kiss girls, guys or both or none. That’s the beauty of crying. It is for everyone. Crying is secular in every sense.

PS: Drink water afterwards though since post cry dehydration is real. 

Must Read: Why Is Crying Still A Taboo? Doesn’t It Come Naturally To Us?