Tired of neighbourhood aunties and distant uncles prodding you on your plans to get married? Approaching thirty, and yet single and happy? Then perhaps you need to tell the world that you have “self-partnered”, just like actor Emma Watson has done. The BAFTA winner has revealed, “’I’m happy single’ spiel,” adding, “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy (being single). I call it being self-partnered.” I can already sense every single woman that I know give Emma an imaginary high five, for giving them this ingenious hack to side-step every unnecessary inquiry on the lines of “When are you getting married?” that comes their way.
- Emma Watson has revealed that she is single and she calls it “self-partnered.”
- The pressure from society to tie the knot often leads people to make unwanted compromises in their lives.
- Being single and thirty is still looked down upon as a failure.
- “Self-Partnering” makes you put your needs and desires above that of anyone else.
I can already sense every single woman that I know give Emma an imaginary high five, for giving them this ingenious hack to side-step every unnecessary enquiry on the lines of “When are you getting married?” that comes their way.
Watson spoke on how despite being an achiever, the question of marriage was always in the horizon for her. Said she, speaking to Vogue UK, “I feel so stressed and anxious. And I realise it’s because there is suddenly this bloody influx of subliminal messaging around. If you have not built a home, if you do not have a husband, if you do not have a baby, and you are turning 30, and you’re not in some incredibly secure, stable place in your career, or you’re still figuring things out… There’s just this incredible amount of anxiety.”
Millions of single women and even men can totally relate to Emma who hits the big thirties in April next year. Although in India the pressure to get settled begins piling on youngsters in their mid-twenties, your life becomes a tale of horror for your parents and that of caution for your cousins if you “fail” to find a suitable match before hitting 30. People who are unmarried and childless long after they bid adieu to their twenties are a nightmare to the society. You are seen as a failure, a lost cause. Some even urge you to tone down your expectations and get married anyhow. Just tie the knot with someone, will you? And relieve your relatives of anxiety and worry over your future.
When almost everyone around you constantly keeps insisting that your life is incomplete unless you get married or have children, you end up believing it to be true.
Does anyone ask single people if they want to get married at all? The society is so conditioned to see marriage as a natural course of life, especially for women that it refuses to process the fact that single people can be happy and content on their own. That marriage may not be a priority for everyone. Often women give into this societal pressure to tie the knot and indeed make compromises, not just in the kind of partner that they seek, but in how they want to lead their life as well. When almost everyone around you constantly keeps insisting that your life is incomplete unless you get married or have children, you end up believing it.
But just look at your single life for a moment, sans all the critique the society has to offer. Does it seem empty, or unfulfilling without a partner? Will all the problems of your life resolve if you just get married? If your answers is no, then you need not hesitate in embracing “self-partnering.” Every person seeks companionship for different reasons and at different points in life. Perhaps right now, all you need is yourself. Besides, when you make a commitment to yourself, you are prioritising your health and happiness over anyone else’s. You can focus on your work and live life on your terms, without having to make any adjustments. This may sound self-cantered to many, but then marriages and relationships aren’t easy. Why not then bask in a hassle-free relationship with yourself as long as you want to?
A commitment isn’t worth making if it brings you nothing but relief from social pressure. And while self-partnering may just do the opposite, it sure will bring you happiness. That has to be worth something.
Image Credit: The Warp