When Your Friends Are Married And You’re Swiping Alone

There’s this moment, right? Somewhere between your fifth bridesmaid outfit and yet another baby shower invite, when it hits you, everyone is married. Everyone’s comparing crockery sets and planning when they’re going to get pregnant, while you’re busy discussing Hinge bios, ghosting, and red flags for the hundredth time.

It’s not that you’re unhappy being single. I mean, hey, come on - married people don’t have the same freedom to do whatever they want. It’s just that you’re the last one at the party still pouring your last glass of wine and figuring out what to do tomorrow. While your married friends are coordinating couple travel plans and sharing Netflix passwords, you’re probably sitting there wondering when you’re actually going to meet someone you can have a real conversation with; let alone a true connection.

Even the most self-assured person isn’t immune to these fleeting thoughts. So here’s what to remember when you’re swiping solo while the rest of your friends are celebrating anniversaries.

Your Timeline Isn’t Broken

Just because your friends got married on a certain timeline doesn’t mean that’s the only timeline that exists. The pressure to “catch up” can push you into relationships that don’t fit and that’s a far bigger problem. There’s a reason you’re on your own path. Maybe there are lessons you need to learn, or things you’re meant to accomplish while you have this freedom. The right relationship will show up exactly when it’s supposed to. That’s just how life works.

Comparison Will Eat You Alive

It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparison. But all it does is make you focus on what’s missing in your own life. Also, what you’re seeing from others is often just a highlight reel, not the full picture. You’re not seeing the arguments, the silent treatments, or how much work it takes to keep a relationship going. Focus on the reality of your own life. Your journey deserves your full attention.

Don’t Shut Out Your Married Friends

It’s normal to avoid situations that remind you of what you don’t have yet. But don’t shut out your friends just because they’re married. They’ve been there for you through the good, the bad, and the ugly - don’t disappear on them now. Sometimes, you learn the most from these friendships about what’s coming, and how to handle it when it does. And honestly, most of the time, you leave those moments feeling lighter and refreshed. In moments of doubt, that’s worth everything.

Find Friends Who Get It

That being said, it’s just as important to have people around who are in the same place as you. It helps to have friends who understand the ups and downs of dating, who are also looking for love, and who remind you that you’re not alone in this. So build yourself a versatile group of friends and keep your focus on your own path.

Being Single Isn’t A Problem To Solve

Remember this- being single isn’t a diagnosis. It’s simply a phase of life. One where you can build what you want, nurture your passions, and get crystal clear on what truly matters to you. Swipe. Be open. Keep your standards exactly where they need to be. Wherever your journey leads, being single while your friends are married doesn’t mean you’re losing at life. It just means your movie hasn’t hit the climax yet. And let’s be honest - isn’t that the best part?

Authored by Shahzeen Shivdasani, Relationship Expert and Author of Love, Lust & Lemons. Views expressed by the author are their own