Want To Take The 21-Day Be Kind to Yourself Challenge?

How many of you knew there’s a World Kindness Day (WKD)? The theme last year was “be kind wherever possible” aimed at highlighting “the importance of kindness as a universal principal that should be practiced in every aspect of our lives.” Expanding that thought into 2024, how about you being kind to your own self so that by the time it’s November 13, WKD you truly become your own greatest cheerleader? 

A good life, it is said, “is not about being happy all the time but being able to deal with the ups and downs and still come up on top.” Can that be your self-compassion mantra? 

Self-compassion, according to experts is all about being non-judgemental towards the self by being your own biggest ally. It’s about acknowledging your self-worth by mindfully making a habit of nurturing your physical, emotional and mental health. 

And some days I forget

What it is to be gentle with myself

How to look at myself with kind eyes

And speak to myself with soft words

Forget that I am my home

And a temple worthy of worship -- Becca Lee

As per the 21/90 rule: “Commit to your goal for 21 days and it will become a habit. Commit to your goal for 90 days and it becomes part of your lifestyle.”

Are you then up for the 21-day “be kind to yourself” challenge? It’s just 5 steps away:

Step 1: Thank yourself for how far you have come, it wasn’t easy – Take a deep breath. Calm your nerves with every breath that follows and do a life audit. The journey so far has been a roller coaster. You’ve laughed. You’ve cried. You’ve won. You’ve lost. You’ve had highs. You’ve had lows. In all this, if there’s been one constant, it’s the fact that you’ve done the best that you could at that point in time. Pat your back for that. Be nice to yourself. 

By doing a mind shift, reaffirm your belief system to create a new life vision. Get into Monk Mode for a bit if required by setting a duration and intention along with identifying non-negotiables in your journey of self-care that align with your dreams. 

Step 2: Chuck the negative self-talk for good - Founder of the hybrid Jeet Kune Do martial art philosophy Bruce Lee strongly recommended not speaking negatively about yourself, even as a joke. “Your body,” he explained, “doesn’t know the difference. Words are energy and cast spells, that’s why it’s called spelling. Change the way you speak about yourself and you can change your life. What you’re not changing, you’re also choosing.”

For that you sometimes need to break the procrastination cycle that the seven types of laziness bloggers harp about induce in you -- “confusion - I don’t know what to do; neurotic fear - the firm belief that I just can’t; fixed mindset - I’ll fail; lethargy - I am too tired; apathy - I don’t care; regret - it’s too late; and identity - I am just too lazy. 

Remember self-care is an enduring commitment to yourself. 

Step 3:  Stand up for yourself – In other words set boundaries by accessing your situation as an unbias third party. This starts with not taking things personally because you can’t please all and therefore you realise that your self-worth DOES NOT depend on what others say.  

No outside validation or permission is needed for you to acknowledge your emotions. Feel down or sad for no reason if that’s what you feel. Have a healthy outlet to regulate complicated emotions. Master the art of being your own safe space, for as Marie Curie said “Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.”

Step 4: Free yourself from expectations - Adulting isn’t easy. Life is NOT a competition. 

Once you get that, believe that you changed yourself for yourself by following Confucius and turning “obstacles into opportunities.” No one owes you anything so learn to vibe alone. Do not force anyone to choose you. Take 100 per cent responsibility when you choose life because you are what you think and your one go-to thought is: “If it’s not nourishing my mind, body and soul, it is a no,” period. Go ahead, opt for some JOMO if you will to get that “feeling of contentment with staying in and disconnecting as a form of self-care.”

Step 5: Make a habit hoop of acknowledging every micro gain – Become your own coach by mastering the four components of the habit loop – cue, craving, response and reward - to form ingrained habits of self-care. Habits that research has proven “alleviate stress, and bring joy and satisfaction in life.” Habits that stop you from always trying to defend your actions. Habits that help you move on rather than constantly complain about out-of-control elements. Habits that make you embrace change with an open mindset. Habits that push you to face your fears, because “life is an exam where the syllabus is unknown and questions papers are not set. Not are there any model answer papers,” points out Sudha Murthy. 

Repeat after Jennifer Chalk then that you’ll - 

Be kind to yourself

Lift yourself up

In the palm of your hand

Smile and console

Tickle and cajole

Mind and behold

Until what’s reflected back

Is a contented self

Ready to shine for the world

Once more!

Views expressed by the author are their own