Why 'Self-Love' Isn’t Just Another Buzzword – A Real Journey to Transformation

Big Yikes bro! Not another “self-love” extra blog on the same old ‘feel my feelings’, celebrate my wins, mindful self-affirmations and gratitude journaling. I mean haven’t we had enough of that already? There’s nothing new, it’s kinda sus actually. Basic generalisations tossed around by every EI facilitator, life coach, SM influencer and LS mentor. Just another couple of 4 letter words therapists and mental-health professionals (over) use. Or them “sad” singles trying to gaslight their own selves on Valentine's Day. Rite? 

WRONG! 

And if that all caps didn’t get to you… let me repeat it again…

W*R*O*N*G!! At several levels. 

Let me jump straight into my journey and dude you’d probably figure out the “why” yourself.

Yes, I’ve been through the usual - just like anybody else, just like you – the anxiety, the heartbreak, the stress, the low self-esteem, the mind-body misalignment, the spiritual chaos! Soul-shattering moments where “self-love” was the last thing on my mind. In fact, I was in that awful space where everything that isn’t “self-love” seemed like the best solution to all my problems. 

Yep, Been there, done that! Big time! Breathlessness, tears, pain et al - deep into the dark night of the soul. 

And then one day – just like that – MAGIC! AWAKENING!

This “I am actually the ocean in a drop” kinda realization out of nowhere. Well, must have been out of somewhere, but I don’t know where. Hit me hard tho. Kinda like Imagine Dragons meets Miley Cyrus meets Conner Price and the believer in you flowers as it rises up singing “I know some people gon' look at me crazy and I'm like for what?
Yeah, I was stuck…..”

That was the beginning. The start of the micro revolution. The first step in my ‘self-love” journey which now includes 6 pit stops: 

1. Abhyanga: According to Ayurveda THE most important expression of self-love travelling from your sacred crown chakra to the very soles of your feet in the most effective dosha-balancing rhythm. I mean it just hits different at the mind-body-soul level easing tension and bringing about a complete detoxifying calm. 

2. Lifting: Yes peeps, the gym is my happy place. The daily happy hormone DOSE – dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins – is a must. And lifting is my new thing. Yes the happy aches are there, yes I’ve now got that infamous gym-brain always calculating protein, yes discipline is tough, yes I’m still very nervous around dumbells and deadlifts – but “I’ll do it scared, I’ll do it tired, I’ll sometimes do it alone but I’ll do it anyways,” So worth it – the sets, the reps, the push, the pull followed by the stretch, the high, the fire. 

3. Me-time: Ok this might sound a little ovio, but there’s me-time and then there’s ME-time. Like ME, ME time where you’re your best company and you truly experience the meaning of being alone but NOT lonely. Get it? You’re truly complete in that moment. The yin and the yang. That’s when you are actually re-charging. Engaging in a deep-calm introspection. Creating life solutions for yourself. Feeling that energizing oneness with all the power within you. That’s the kind of me-time I am talking about. IYKYN. If you don’t, go after it! 

4. Boundaries: That to me should be the word of 2025. Nothing demure, all rizz! If I don’t like something I feel free to say NO to it. If I am tired, I guilt-free bail out of social “obligations.” If I am not in the mood, I will choose to spend my evening with Days at the Morisaki Bookshop. If your vibe does not match mine at the moment, I prefer to leave your company and peace out. If I am uncomfortable in any way, I am brave enough to just leave. If I do not like something, I voice it clearly and follow through unafraid of being judged or stereotyped. That’s big courage. Butterflies in the stomach every time. BUT - it’s learning to respect yourself. It’s a game changer in the self-love journey. 

5. Comfort-Zoning Out: Another way of saying dump the comfort zone every step of the way. Every day. Cliched yes, but comfort and growth do not go hand in hand. Period. Following the herd is comfortable. Being predictable is comfortable. Staying where you are in comfortable. Being basic is super comfortable. Doing the done thing is comfortable. Not facing your fears is comfortable. Comfortable is easy. Comfortable is nice. “Life, however, begins at the end of the comfort zone.” Living and being alive – monumental drift. Ready to gas yourself into a glow up? 

6. Sup homie: This one’s sort of a sum total of all the top 5 before it. Like going within. Diving deep to say a hi to yourself. In a place where all your colors shine bright. The core where your aura waits to shine through. I am starting to sound like one of them psychedelic thought gurus. Lol. But it is what it is. Liberating, life altering and just legit lit! You meets the real you. It’s not a blind date though, even if there is a sense of knowing some and then not knowing some. That’s the thrill. Coming full circle. You could be all professional using the Gibbs way and the 5Rs for self-reflection OR you could just ride the waves of your thoughts and feelings, building on this superpower that brings in more and more clarity of thought, purpose, design as it crests and troughs. The you that emerges out of the depths is humbled, peaceful – changed forever! 

“How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.” Isn’t it? 

There it is then guys for you - self-love 2.0. 

Ready to redefine happiness?

Ready to be your own reason to smile?

Ready for a ‘real-deal’ life-long romance starting circa 14 February 2025? 

Ya? 

Here’s wishing you an awesome Valentine's homie! 

Views expressed by the author are their own.