Teenage Chronicles: Saania Saxena On Navigating The Teenhood Years

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”- Lao Tzu

Ah, insecurities. Those clingy guests who sneak in without knocking and simply won’t leave. They show up when you’re trying on clothes, speaking in public, scrolling through Instagram, or staring at a math test you’d rather not talk about. Out of all the emotions I explore in Teenage Chronicles, insecurity is the one I’ve grappled with the most. It lurks in the shadows of my mind like an unwanted narrator, always whispering, “Are you sure you’re good enough?”.

My insecurity kryptonite? Something we all run after. One word: Acceptance. Let me take you back.

There was a time when my relationship with self-worth hit a low point. When I was chubbier, people - some well-meaning, others just… nosy - tossed the word “fat” around like confetti. Comments came at me from all angles: relatives, peers, even people I barely knew. At first, I laughed it off, made jokes before others could. But inside, I was shrinking. I started to believe that my body determined my value.

Then came a shift (kind of.)

I began to love myself more, not out of rebellion but out of respect. I healed my relationship with food. I explored veganism, not to fit into anyone’s box, but because it aligned with my values. And guess what? That’s when a whole new label was thrown my way: “skinny.” “You’re vanishing!” “You should eat more.”

“It’s like vegans are all anorexic.”

Ouch. Each of those words pierced deeper than the last. One day I was “too much,” the next, I was “not enough.” It was like I’d stumbled into an endless maze of impossible expectations. The most heartbreaking, ironic part? I felt better than ever- more alive, more in tune with myself. Why, then, wasn’t the world ready to accept me?

That’s when I had my epiphany! They’re never going to.

No matter what I looked like, someone always had an opinion. But that opinion often said more about them than about me. It's like when we cook our favorite dish for someone and they don’t like it, we don’t suddenly start to doubt our cooking. We know it’s good! Why, then, when someone criticizes who we are, do we crumble so easily?

We live in a world obsessed with results - before-and-after photos, success stories, glow-ups. But rarely do we honour the blood, sweat, and tears behind the scenes. The discipline, the discomfort, the decisions made quietly and courageously.

It took me a while, but I began to ask a better question: When I look in the mirror, do I like who I am becoming?

If the answer was yes, then the only kind of approval that truly mattered was the one I granted myself.

So, insecurities don’t vanish with a new outfit 500 likes on a post. They vanish - slowly - when we turn inward, hold our own hand, and remind ourselves: I am allowed to grow and change and not have everyone understand it. And that is okay.

The problem was never the world. The world will always judge, question, and whisper. The problem is when we let those whispers shape the way we live our lives.

And I did. For a long time!

I became so caught up with how I was being perceived that I lost touch with my most authentic self. I worried about my voice shaking in conversations. I compared myself to my twin sister, who is outgoing and effortlessly charismatic (though even now sometimes I am envious…palm twitchingly envious!), while I’d be the one nervously waving at the potted plant in the corner. It made me feel like something was “wrong” with me, like I needed to fix myself just to be worthy.