I Was Raised By A Single Mother, Here Is What I Learnt From Her

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Parenting is defined by sacrifices and struggles that you endure raising a child, even when two people share this responsibility. However, when it comes to a single parent the challenges double up. Being raised by a single mother, I have personally witnessed the struggles my mother goes through every day. Being a single mother is the toughest and most empowering thing she has ever done. Her story is of indomitable grit and dedication.

There are times in the life of a single mother when she may lose the fervour to live life. But despite all the problems staring at her face, she is required to summon up all her strength for her children. She not only has to deal with all the chores at home and earn a living for the family, but also has to endure societal bias. Her role is very challenging because she is heading the family and setting an example for her kids. 

There are some hardships unique to every individual but here are five major struggles that most of the single mothers go through:

Financial problems

Having no partner means that the single mother is solely responsible for all her  finances. There is nobody to be relied upon and sometimes paucity of funds leads to stress, anxiety and depression. The responsibility of paying daily expenditures to providing a financially stable future for me and my siblings all rests on my mother’s shoulders. Indeed, money can’t buy happiness, but its scarcity can put your survival in danger.

A single mother carries the burden of losing her partner for a lifetime and at the same time, she has to take the responsibility of her children.

Decision making

Parenting involves taking resolute decisions about schooling, career and marriages. Generally, before taking such crucial step partners consult each other and then mutually decides the best thing for their kids. But the single mother takes all such decisions on her own and she has to bear the setback also if the decision proves to be wrong. There have been times when my mother has regretted her decisions, but instead of blaming her I always try to motivate her.

Lack of support

Every individual goes through the ups and downs in life. There are times when we are emotionally shattered and we need someone to console us. Single moms are often trapped in the circle of loneliness and the burden of responsibility never allows them to invest in friendship or companionship. It makes me so emotional when I acknowledge the fact that she has no one with whom she can watch her favourite movie or travel around the world. No one is there to make her smile when she has a bad day at work.

Filling the vacuum in children’s life

The loss of father creates a vacuum in the life of children. Some or the other incident reminds them of that loss which keeps hurting them. I know that my mother is much more troubled by this loss but she knows how to conceal her pain and agony with her beautiful smile. She tries her best to give love and care that my father would have provided me had he been there in person.

My mother often tells me that,”You can’t control what happens to you in life, but you can always control what you will feel and do about what happens to you”.

Finding herself culpable

I often find my mother burdened by a feeling of guilt, although she will admit never this. There is guilt about not being able to provide the things her child wants because it’s not in her budget. Nothing can make a mother feel worse than telling her child she is can’t fulfil her child’s desire.

As I grow up I can understand her better and I have a lot of respect for all that she has done for me. She is my role model and always will be.

(Picture Credit: idiva.com)

Divya Rawat is an intern with SheThePeople.TV