Neha Dhupia-Angad Bedi’s pregnancy reveal has turned many people into expert gynaecologists. While celebs and well-wishers are showering the expecting parents with love, there are also those who are winking and sniggering. The reason some are trolling this lovely news is because they got married in May and Neha’s visible pregnancy has sent them calculating and speculating about when she conceived.

Hence, like nosey colony aunties and uncles gossiping at street corner paan shops, they are openly taking digs at the couple for being so visibly pregnant so early in their matrimony. But why is this even their business, you ask? There is no possible good reason one can come up with. But this is India and what goes behind a closed door, among consenting adults, even married, is everybody’s business here. Which means if a newly married couple announces a pregnancy, people will evoke their inner ACP Pradyuman and sniff a scandal even where there isn’t one.

None of anyone’s business

Pregnancy and conception by and large still remain a social matter in our country.

Any pregnancy or lack of it always incurs a social commentary, whether the party under scrutiny likes it or not. Some people take pride in this nosey tendency and guise it as concern. But it is anything except that. This invasion in a couple’s privacy and personal decisions often ends up putting unwanted pressure on their relationship.

SOME TAKEAWAYS-

  • Neha Dhupia and Angad Bedi are expecting their first child.
  • This news has raised eyebrows among some trolls, who are questioning the pregnancy so close to their marriage.
  • It is impossible for people to mind their own business in this country, and leave family planning to a couple.
  • Conception and shaming often go hand in hand in our society, when the former isn’t in sync with social norms.

It is not just an early pregnancy like that of Dhupia which raises eyebrows. A lack or delay of it also does. I still remember all the enquiring gazes and “teasing” I got the minute we entered the second year of our matrimony. The bloody obsession with good news is something which is discussed openly in drawing rooms and parties! People forget all their prudishness on such occasions. It is ironic that even the mention of sex education at a public gathering will earn you gasps and groans. But no one feels shy when it comes to dissecting a married couple’s sex life for “good news”. No one feels it is inappropriate to question people’s family planning goals.

Also, conception and shaming often go hand in hand in our society, when the former isn’t in sync with social norms. An early or late or no pregnancy is always something which a couple must feel ashamed about. Why? Because others disapprove of it. No one cares about what the couple wants. We must wink and nudge at the idea of premarital sex or low fertility, ignoring how commonplace they are.

If all these people are just trolling Dhupia and Bedi because they think they got pregnant before getting married, then it shows how outdated their mindset is

Wave all the cultural flags you want, do a jig on your moral high ground till your knees buckle beneath you. But pre-marital sex is a reality in this world. It happens in every country, city, village or colony, whether you like it or not. Merely denying its existence or calling it inappropriate doesn’t make it a myth. All it does is to prevent us from broadening our mindset and having a healthy approach to sex.

So perhaps it’s time to get off that judgmental horse and walk the ground reality. Leave couples and their family planning to them and only them, please. If they decide to bring a child into this world, then they and their baby deserve our love and some discretion. No need to go into overdrive and assume things which may stain their joy and intent.

Picture Credit: Neha Dhupia/Twitter

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Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section.  The views expressed are author’s own.

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