Our mothers have raised us to become the individuals we are today. Every mother has the willingness and ability to mould a little being into a person with infinite potential. They become our first role models, teachers, and influencers. Society projects Indian mothers as self-sacrificing, wholesome, righteous and kind. Mothers have an idolized image. We as children often have the tendency to put them on a pedestal as we don’t expect them to be faltering in any of their actions. Sadly, the human to whom we owe our lives, become the beings who cannot make mistakes or have a desire to follow their dreams without the approval of their children.
Just because of the fact that they were present at our beck and call during our growing up years it doesn’t mean that their lives have to be centered on ours for eternity. They can and should make their own decisions. Mothers too are allowed to be selfish when they wish to. They have an identity of their own and the right to follow their career paths at any age. Although we have seen a satisfactory shift in Indian moms from homemakers to working women in the last decade, there is still a large fraction who prefer to forfeit their careers in order to raise a family.
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Will you support her if she wishes to tick off all the items in her bucket list which she made in her twenties? Will you hold her hand tightly if she decides to walk out of a marriage she’s not happy in? Can you approve your single mother to get into a relationship in her fifties?
We make our mothers the target of our frustration after a fight with our best friend. We cry our eyes out after heartbreak. Then why do we forget to ask them how do they feel living for us? Or why did they cry to sleep last night? Or if they want a vacation to just go out and have fun? They spend all their lives running after us and then suddenly, when they need us the most, we leave them all alone.
Think about it, will you let your mother pursue her dreams in her late forties? Will you support her if she wishes to tick off all the items in her bucket list which she made in her twenties? Will you hold her hand tightly if she decides to walk out of a marriage she’s not happy in? Can you approve your single mother to get into a relationship in her fifties? If these questions make you feel uncomfortable, then you need to think of your mom as an individual having a unique identity.
Your mom doesn’t have to be a superwoman. Let her be a human for once.
We commit a major mistake of raising our mothers to sainthood and glorifying their altruism. This imposes a burden on them to devote their lives to childcare and domestic work by giving up on the dreams they saw for themselves. Let’s question the age-old norms of society. Let your mother step down from the self-sacrificing pedestal she has been raised on; learn to take care of yourself. Not only will it reduce her burden, making her happier and healthier but will also render you as a successful young adult.
An American author, Elizabeth Gilbert said, “I’ve realised that one of the most unkind things I can do to somebody is put them on a pedestal because very soon, inevitably, they’re going to do something that’s going to knock them off that, and then I’m going to have a lot of trouble with that because I really need you to be something else. And that’s inhumane.” Your mom doesn’t have to be a superwoman. Let her be a human for once. Support her if she makes mistakes. Allow her to go out and be what she wishes to be not what you want her to be.
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Saavriti is an intern with SheThePeople.TV