Times are changing. Parents are shaking their traditional gender roles in the family and are paving way for equal parenting. Men want to take up all-rounded roles of a provider, a caregiver, and a nurturer. To make things easy, here are a few ways to make you dads more involved and hands-on parents.
- Fathers should draw inspiration from positive experiences.
- Paid leaves for fathers positively impact their involvement in the family.
- Societal determinants of gender roles should be shunned hence promoting equal parenting.
- Divorced couples should create a hospitable environment for their children.
Drawing inspiration and seeking role models
Today many men want to be the fathers they wish they had. Dads look for inspiration and examples set by men in your lives who have been emotionally involved with their children. Adapt the good traits from your fathers as you focus on parenthood. Furthermore, learn from the bad experiences and make sure to correct any mistakes or negative habits that you grew up with.
Presumptions of masculinity that float in the society cause heterosexual men to withdraw from their families. They tend to focus primarily on their role to provide for the family.
This is a call out to corporates. Handling work and being a father is a tricky business. Since neither can be neglected, corporates should realise the importance of paid paternity leaves. This way the responsibility of parenthood will not fall on one partner. Moreover, it will ensure that fathers are around their children in their growing years.
Fathers and their self-image
Trying to follow a stereotypical role set by society for fathers, that of a bread-winner for the family, makes fathers to go hard on themselves and those around them. Although it’s important to be thankful for their part in the family, a family should define what “involvement” means for them exclusively. This promotes equal parenting and ensures that no one is overburdened with unspoken responsibilities. Dads should be open about communication and can even go in for therapy if the need be.
Dads you need to socialise and have a family away from family. This will ensure dialogues with fellow men and discussion over parenthood. Advice from other dads who have walked a mile in the role will be beneficial. Hence, fathers need to learn about paternity from their community.
Involvement in post-divorce life
Being a father post-divorce is emotionally hard on everyone involved in the relationship. In the majority of the cases, fathers are not given primary custody. Such situations impact the time spent with their children and hence adversely impacts the quality of their lives. Rather than falling into toxic withdrawals, divorced parents should exercise a well-co-ordinated relationship. This will ensure that children do not suffer any negative impacts of fights and quarrels.
Fathers can learn from the bad experiences and make sure to correct any mistakes or negative habits that they grew up with.
Myths of manhood
Presumptions of masculinity that float in the society cause heterosexual men to withdraw from their families. They tend to focus primarily on their role to provide for the family. However, couples should talk about letting traditional gender roles go. Gender divide should be shunned in the family and equal parenting should be brought into focus. Parents should be equally responsible for maintaining emotional and economic stability in the family.
In the long run, if fathers want to commit to being involved, they will work actively to make it happen. Men can be amazing fathers provided they understand that it is their actions in the present that will always matter.
Vipashyana Dubey is an intern with SheThePeople.TV