Contractual Relationships? Can Love Be Strategized?
If you thought that the beauty of companionship is in its uncertain course, then perhaps you are yet to hear of contractual relationships. Even before they can reach a stage in relationships where they can discuss a pre-nuptial, millennials are now putting the rules of relationship on paper and making them into a contract. While these contracts are not legally binding, they do lay down the rules of engagements, in order to manoeuver through all the hurdles which a couple may face in a relationship. But can love be strategized?
- Millennials are now putting the rules of relationship on paper and making them into a contract.
- Relationship contracts are not legally binding. They primarily talk about how to maintain a relationship.
- Is it okay to bring in the rule book in the early stages of a relationship, and kill the maturity it attains from quarrels and disagreements?
- Can an intentional approach to a relationship work better than a spontaneous one?
Is it okay to bring in the rule book in the early stages of a relationship, and kill the maturity it attains from quarrels and disagreements?
As per an article published in The Lily, unlike a traditional pre-nup, a relationship contract is generally not legally binding, and deals primarily with how to create and maintain a relationship, rather than talk about the financials in the event of a fallout. While the topics covered are usually specific to the couple, they touch on the subjects most likely to cause conflict in a relationship: money, sex, chores, childcare.
Isn’t this supposed to be something which a couple should be worrying about only when they are to get married? Besides, what happened to the joy of discovering each other gradually and test of loving someone, adjusting to all their conditions and eccentricities.
But why wait till the big decision begins to loom over your head? Why hold out on issues which could cost you a painful breakup some years down? Why not put it across well in advance and be done with it? In times when the institution of marriage is fast failing to maintain its shelf life, contractual relationships do make sense. Especially, when you think from the point of view of a millennial. Their priorities and perspectives are quite different and centred in individual happiness and satisfaction. These young men and women do not want ugly confrontations and numbing heart-breaks. This is after all the generation of a rational mindset.
The rise in the number of couples opting for contractual relationships is an indication of our changing expectations from relationships.
The rise in the number of couples opting for contractual relationships is an indication of our changing expectations from relationships. We do not want uncertainty. We do not want to follow the set roles we are assigned by gender when it comes to bearing expenses, childcare, household chores, etc. Human sexuality in itself is undergoing a revolutionary liberation. Which is why entering a new relationship isn’t just all innocence and trust on a pre-set course today. Today, men and women do not want to fall back into gendered habits when they get into relationships. Every individual now wants to clearly put forth what he or she wants from a relationship. Also what they are willing to pitch in and what they aren’t willing to. Thus contractual relationships can’t be just looked at as a contract. It is basically a clear dialogue between two adults with a certain amount of clarity.
Can an intentional approach to a relationship work better than a spontaneous one? Only time can answer these questions.
But how successful can contractual relationships be? Can an intentional approach to a relationship work better than a spontaneous one? Only time can answer these questions. Besides longevity can’t be the only parameter to determine the success of a relationship. Happiness, compatibility and contentment should be bigger stakeholders. However, before we pass a judgement of this new trend we need to give it a space to flourish. Isn’t formalising anything a ring of commitment? Or willingness to make it successful and in case of love, a desire to make it a happier experience for both the parties?
Picture Credit : CBN
Yamini Pustake Bhalerao is a writer with the SheThePeople team, in the Opinions section. The views expressed are the author’s own.