Micro Feminism: How Women In India Push Boundaries Daily

A traditional discourse on progress or evolution in feminism typically measures milestones made in the law, politics, or corporate policies. I would like to argue that a more compelling case for progress, however, is through the small and everyday acts of bravery of women who live within a patriarchal moral code. These acts aren’t recorded in history or legislation but can be found with every record keeper and storyteller like me or you. Each story inspires and paves a stepping stone for another story, creating a chain of resistance that has forged its way through time.

In India, feminism strives to defy the norms not just of patriarchy but of an added religious patriarchy. Conservatism in religion refuses to accept the idea of women having sexual agency, desire, resistance, or professional freedom. 

When the movie Mrs. was released recently, it shone a light on the dehumanizing environment so many daughters were forced to live in their marital homes. It forced families to reflect. Review feeds were littered with comments such as “We don’t behave like these parents. We let you work, " or “My daughter-in-law and I are friends; we go shopping together.” Reflect, squirm, deny. “This can’t be us. We are educated. We are doctors.” The movie forces the audience to acknowledge the patriarchy hidden deep within the most educated and privileged fractions of our society.

Real resistance is in women quietly asserting their humanity while living shackled to a life within a blind patriarchy.

Micro Feminism: How Women in India Push Boundaries Daily

In rural India, there is a collective fight for a right to live with dignity across genders, and in this ongoing battle to lay claim to authority amongst different castes and tribes, the rights of women fall through the cracks. Despite the overwhelming history of oppression both in rural and urban India against women, change has come slowly and has been brought about by the many stories of glaring defiance shown by women living in a world made for men.

In Mumbai, the plight of domestic workers is well documented. My first thought when reflecting on micro feminism was of Meera, a domestic help who worked in my house for four years while also working in several other houses. She rarely ever spoke, but I did gather from a few conversations that she was married to an abusive alcoholic. Despite this, I observed with incredulity her backbreaking work hours and her tireless dedication, all so that her daughter would be educated and not suffer the fate she was handed; so that her daughter would not have to endure an abusive marriage and would be independent. 

I acknowledge that my reaction of incredulity to some degree comes from a third-party lens of ignorance and privilege. For Meera, however, it was a way of being. A necessary fight for a better life despite the crushing adversity of her ecosystem.

The other story I am drawn to is that of my work colleague, Vinima. She was a qualified chartered accountant but had been married into a conservative family at a young age and was immediately pressured into having children. 

Once her son was five years old, she fought to return to work and was ‘allowed’ to return only if she woke up every morning at five am and completed all her household work before leaving for the office. When I asked her if this wasn’t a form of slavery and coercion, she shrugged and said that for her, doing a few chores was a small price to pay for financial independence and to model for her son an example of a working woman in a family where women had traditionally only been expected to cook and clean.

Vinima’s story was a lesson to me that there are countless women living within legally endorsed confinement who pick and choose battles every day. That there is a constant ebb and flow of compromises in exchange for select freedoms.

 ‘I will agree to get married if I am allowed to work, finish college, start my own business, and continue dance classes’ are some of the tradeoffs we see take place every day. To say that these are compromises would again be an unjust, myopic, and privileged view. Every freedom fought for is a win, a hard-earned win in a world with systems of inequality in place that are constantly churning out unbearable atrocities against women.

In Delhi, Ritika is an artist and a friend who has led a life of financial struggle. As a primary caretaker of her child, she chose to stay at home and raise her, a decision taken by so many women at the cost of financial independence. And like so many homemakers, she has lived through the slow erosion of her dignity in justifying her need for money to her spouse to take care of her needs. She has, however, channelled this injustice into stunning and well-loved works of art. Like her, there are so many homemakers who have created small businesses of candle making, or home-cooked meals, or motherhood podcasts.

Women who create things of beauty from places of inequality, frustration, and hope. Women who made the choice to seek happiness through creative freedom, cultivated through a life of financial oppression. There is poetry to this form of resistance.

The stories of micro-feminism are too fragmented to be called a collective movement, but there are so many fragmented movements that the centre of power with the ability for change can be seen within these fragments. This is the ideology that so many women have taken the onus to propagate and protect. To carry the torch forward for other women to carry forward, propelling change. May we always sing their songs and tell their stories.

*The images are for representation only.