‘Know Your Place’: India Tells Its Women What The First World Tells India

The First World often treats India the way patriarchy treats its women. They say they want us to grow, to rise, to take our place on the world stage. Yet, there is always an invisible ceiling, much like how some men want women to succeed but never more than them.

Every year, just a day before Independence Day, a thought begins to bother me. It quietly creeps into my mind and refuses to leave, leading me to a chain of “what ifs” that lingers for a long time. It starts with a simple question: What if freedom were something that every woman in this country could actually feel in her everyday life?

A Moment Without Fear

I often dream of a time when women in my country can step out at night without fear. A time when they can look up at the stars, admire the moon, and simply enjoy the peace of the night without being rushed, gripping their keys between their fingers, or constantly checking over their shoulders.

Lately, my thoughts have extended beyond the night due to the horrifying everyday news. I wonder what it would feel like if, even during the day, women didn’t have to be hyperaware of their surroundings. If walking into a crowded market did not feel like entering a battlefield. What if we could live without being mentally charged for a fight we never wanted in the first place?

I wish for a world where a woman can say “no” without carrying guilt for days. Where she can choose a path in life that is hers alone, without apologising for it to her family or society. I long for the day when a woman can share her intellectual thoughts without being mocked or belittled. Whether she is speaking about the mysteries of space, the intricacies of finance, the thrill of cricket, the possibilities of new technology, or the strategies of defence, her voice should carry the same weight and respect as any man’s.

Too often, friends, relatives, and even family wait silently for her to fail in her career, ready to say, “Now you are done with your little hobby; it’s time to take care of the home.” As if her dreams were a pastime. Sometimes they disguise their doubt as concern, telling her they only want what is “best for her,” when what they really mean is what is most comfortable for them.

The Patriarchal Parallels

It is heartbreaking that in a country where the sex ratio might show more women than men, women are still treated as if they are the minority. The message is often subtle but loud enough to hear: grow, yes, but not more than him; earn, yes, but never outshine him. This unwritten rule operates in offices, in politics, in art, in sports, placing a ceiling just above the point where she begins to threaten the comfort of those who hold power.

It reminds me of how the West treats India. The moment India steps beyond the role they have imagined for her, there is resistance and hesitation, and suddenly the tone changes from encouragement to containment.

The recent tariff disputes are a perfect example, where support is offered only until competition becomes uncomfortable. The same pattern appears in technology restrictions, where access to advanced tools or semiconductors is limited just when India shows potential to lead. It appears again in climate change negotiations, where developing nations like ours are urged to cut emissions quickly, while developed countries hold on to their privileges.

Even the long-denied permanent seat for India at the United Nations Security Council feels like this, just like the way very few women are allowed a seat at the table in corporate boardrooms. You can see it too in how intellectual property laws, trade deals, and even aid programmes are structured: generous in words, strategic in action.

Yes, things are changing, but the progress moves at the speed of a snail. It is movement, but painfully slow, and often accompanied by long pauses where you wonder if the journey has stopped altogether.

I Am a Woman, and So I Am India

The so-called first world often behaves like the patriarch in a household, smiling when the women in the family learn new skills, applauding them when they earn a little more, but feeling uncomfortable when they earn more than the man in the household. And India, like a determined woman in a patriarchal world, keeps pushing forward despite the sideways glances, the backhanded compliments, and the constant attempts to rein her in.

Both carry within them the weight of history, the scars of being underestimated, and the stubborn will to keep moving forward even when the path is uneven and full of hidden traps. And perhaps that is why, as a woman in India, I feel this connection so deeply.

When I speak of my struggles, I feel I am speaking for my country. When I see my country rise despite attempts to hold it back, I feel my own fight reflected in it.

One day, I hope there will be no need for comparisons because both will stand free, women in their homes, streets, and workplaces, and India on the world stage, with no invisible ceiling above either of them. Until that day comes, these “what ifs” will live in my heart, fluttering through my mind like a flag that refuses to rest, a banner held high in the silent wind, waiting for the moment when every woman can finally feel the weight and warmth of true freedom.

Shivani Jaiswal is a software engineer working at an MNC. Beyond her professional role, she finds joy in writing and reading, which allow her to explore diverse perspectives and express her ideas. She also has a keen interest in international relations, which inspires much of her curiosity and reflection.

Views expressed by the author are their own. This article is a part of our ongoing series, Your Monthly Dissent Dispatch, in collaboration with Usawa Literary Review.