Why I Turned To Sewing For Post-Cancer Care

In early 2020 I was diagnosed with one of the scariest ailments, cancer. A tough battle ensued and thanks to the medical emergence and the amazing doctors who treated me, I recovered. I may have recovered from the disease, but the treatment had left in its aftermath a slew of really horrible reminders of what my body, mind, and soul had been through. 

I was bloated with all the steroids, and my hands and feet had barely any sensation, yes, I was wobbling on my feet, and my fingers were so numb that I could not hold a pencil, let alone try to fix the hooks on my bra or even do up my buttons. It was an alien feeling to not have control of what I’d always taken for granted. It was debilitatingly frustrating. 

Isolated from the world outside, a precaution as immunity levels were low, there wasn’t much that held my attention. I spent days, and seemingly endless nights, blank yet overthinking, trying to watch some TV, read a bit, solve puzzles but nothing worked.

How sewing helped me recover numbness

It was a strange space to be in, I’d never done ‘nothing’ before and wasn’t enjoying it one bit. Creative art is my passion, but I couldn’t hold a pencil, pen, or paintbrush. Cornered and annoyed, yes very annoyed at my state of being, one day I decided I just had to change my state of being, and one morning ambling around the house, a sewing machine caught my eye. I thought would this work? I decided to find out unafraid of the outcome.

The weather was still pleasant, though pollution was playing havoc in the NCR region. The machine was placed on a table next to my bed, curtains pulled back and windows opened, grey skies notwithstanding, I settled down in front of the machine. I pulled out a piece of fabric from my recycling bag full of leftover pieces. Threading the machine wasn’t quite the nightmare thanks to it being an automatic machine with a threader. I switched on the machine and gingerly put my foot on the pedal while trying to guide the fabric – it was a total disaster in terms of controlling the stitch, the fabric, and the speed, but it felt so good just seeing the randomly stitched-coloured thread.

It became my daily ritual, spending at least thirty minutes on the machine, and slowly but surely, I began to feel my fingertips and the soles of my feet – I could actually feel the fabric and the foot pedal.

It was almost like the nerve-synapses began to connect again and my hands began to come back to life. I could bend my fingers at my will, and guide the fabric in the direction I wanted. Slowly my brain fog began to clear up, as my mood lifted with each day. There was a happy voice that sang in my heart and head – it was a very emotional time and it was almost like I was stitching up my life back to normalcy.

Two months later, I was 90% better, some numbness and tingling remain till date, but I can do just about everything that seemed impossible to do during that dark phase. I was so thankful to my grandmother and mother for inculcating in me my love for sewing because it was this passion that lifted me out of the depths of despair. For me, the sewing machine was my most effective therapy, and my love for it remains a life-long affair! 

Gunjan Batra heads PR & Communications at Usha International. Views expressed by them are their own.