From Grief-Eating to Gut Healing: My Journey to Self-Compassion

This wasn’t the first time I decided I had to lose weight. I had tried before — in 2020, during my Civil Services preparation. That journey was draining, and with every wave of anxiety and every fear of failure, I’d turn to food. Grief-eating became a coping mechanism. And slowly, I gained not just weight, but fatigue, dullness, and a disconnection from myself.

This year, I decided to lose weight — but this time, for me. Not for compliments, not for approval, but because I wanted to feel alive again. I used to doze off in the middle of the day, drag my body around like it wasn’t mine. I remember a trip to Rishikesh — my friend and her mother thought I was just lazy, but they didn’t know I was gasping for air, my health breaking down quietly. My skin showed signs. My body was screaming. I had ignored it long enough.

That’s when something clicked. I stopped looking for shortcuts and started looking inward.

Yes, I saw all those ads — fat burners, gut cleanses, juice fasts promising 5kg in 10 days. I won’t lie — I was tempted. But something deeper in me whispered, don’t punish your body anymore. I didn’t hit the gym like a beast. I didn’t starve on salads and regrets. I started small. ACV before a heavy meal. Jeera water in the morning. Fruits instead of fried food. More protein. Portion control. I started reading food labels like love letters — because that’s what this was: an act of love.

The Weight We Carry Isn’t Always in Kilos

I did a full-body check-up. Found out what vitamins I lacked. Took care of my gut, my liver, my hormones. Not with panic, but with presence. Slowly, things began to shift — not just in my body, but in my mind.

Even when weight loss hit a plateau, I didn’t quit. Yes, I lost patience. But not my consistency. Not my determination. I haven’t reached my target weight yet, but for the first time, I’ve fallen in love with the process — with my body. And that love, that mindfulness, has been the greatest gift of 2025.

Sometimes we get so comfortable in our skin that we ignore the signs. Hormonal acne. Mood swings. Daytime drowsiness. Anxiety. These aren’t just passing phases — they are symptoms. Messages and warnings.

Many women I know begin their weight loss journey to look good at their weddings. My best friend was surviving on four almonds a day to drop kilos quickly. She lost 8 kg. But I worry for her. Because shortcuts are often wrong cuts.

This journey has taught me something priceless: it’s not just about losing weight. It’s about gaining discipline. Adopting a lifestyle. It’s about feeling light not just in body, but in heart and mind. When your insides feel healthy, your outside begins to glow.

And maybe that’s why this story matters. Because the weight we carry isn’t always in mass. Sometimes, it’s in the taunts, the jibes, the stares, the body image issues we’ve been taught to live with.

But no more. Your body is not your enemy. It’s your temple. Your lifelong companion. Treat it with love, with patience, with nourishment.

Not for the world. Not for the weighing scale. But for you. Only you.

Aastha Jadon is a freelance writer and an aspirant. Views expressed by the author are their own.