Why ‘Girl’s Girl’ Culture Still Centers Around Male Approval

I recently came across the term “girl’s girl” on Instagram. At first glance, it seemed like a well-meaning celebration of sisterhood—women supporting women. It encourages loyalty in female friendships, like warning a man’s girlfriend if he flirts with you, or helping your friends look good in front of their crushes. But as I looked closer, the cracks started to show. Despite its empowering veneer, the concept still centres men: women are praised for protecting, warning, or presenting themselves to male attention.

What began as a heartening idea quickly felt limiting. Talking to other women about my discomfort made me realise I wasn’t alone. There’s immense power in female friendships—in sharing openly, holding space, and showing up for one another in messy, non-performative ways. That’s where the real healing begins.

The problem isn’t with supporting other women; it’s with how social media packages that support into something glossy and easy to consume. This trend, like many others, seems more focused on making women desirable to men than on fostering genuine connection. That contradiction between tenderness and performance infuriates me. I’m deeply inspired by the women in my life who let me be wholly myself. But I’ve never felt comfortable calling myself a “girl’s girl”—because the label flattens the depth, complexity, and radical honesty that true female friendship requires.

The Rise of Consumerist Feminism- Why Girl’s Girl is Nothing but a Product Of Capitalism

Being referred to as the desired ‘girls girl’ evaluates and quantifies female friendships based on a woman's affinity to males. For example, if you assist your pals in becoming as gorgeous as possible, as determined by the standard of male validation, you are the quintessential "girl's girl." Even if it's easy to use the term "girl's girl" carelessly, I encourage you to consider its usage and its actual meaning about feminism. It is essential to keep acknowledging the complexity of identities, femininity, and female friendships without pivoting to the world of men. 

Promoting a superficial feminist perspective ignores the socioeconomic problems that women face and encourages the objectification of women. True liberty is not attained by this brand of feminism. Rather, it sets women against each other in a struggle for status through approval from men. These shallow narratives, such as the ‘girl's girl’ are partly the fault of social media platforms for promoting them to their gullible audience. 

Young women and girls are getting heavily influenced by the glamorous life of a social media figure, not understanding that the bareness of their lives is completely different from the way they deem it to be. Because capitalism is based on individualism, feminism may have a dismal future if consumer society promotes women's empowerment through glamour, shallow ideas, and constant purchasing.

Labels of Oppression: The Ingrained Sexism and Patriarchy in Our Culture

The trend is supported by several TikTok movements that discreetly promote ideas that oppress women through excessive consumption and prioritise wealth and attractiveness. The idea of a ‘girl's girl’ simply serves to reinforce this narrative by supporting flimsy notions that seem liberating but keep women bound by patriarchy. It sets women against each other in a struggle for status through approval from men. The ‘girl's girl’ trend oversimplifies the complex concerns of gender inequality and oppression. For emancipation, our feminism must go beyond only describing other women as beautiful.

Waving goodbye to the ‘girl's girl’ and removing the male lens from conversations about female friendships, women must promote intersectional and diverse feminism to unite as a single, cohesive group to achieve true emancipation from the patriarchy. This version of feminism is ready to enforce more socially conservative behaviour. This trend leads women to make fun of, disregard, and mock women who don't fit in. More often than not, the women who are not a part of the movement are the ones who have not internalised its intrinsic goodness and do not entertain the utopia it represents, being aware of how interwoven it is with internalised misogyny. 

Relying on others is seen as a weakness,  as the ‘girls girl’ trope prescribes and puts labels on women accordingly. For the longest time, I aspired to be a hero—strong and flawless, a reliable source of strength for other ladies. I had to be a hero who could rescue us women from this awful world. The problem is I'm not a hero, and neither do I need to be one. All I have to be is myself— a woman who is soft and flawed, yet strong enough to create spaces where people can find solace and healing.

I don't need to be a perfect girl’s girl or play a wingwoman to my friends, to be called someone who celebrates other women and holds space for all of us to grow.

In the truest brevity of my soul, I honestly believe in women supporting other women. "Just"—not in a demeaning way, but as a way to release all the constraints placed on women simply for existing in this stereotypical world. Because I am truly an amalgamation of all the beautiful women who have stridden through my life’s journey- an embrace of their identities and mindsets. Yet I know that a TikTok trend can never equate to the love I hold for them, because how you show care for your loved ones should never be boxed in a label, and especially not the one that is a product of capitalist nurture and patriarchal biases. 

 Views expressed by the author are their own.