Who exactly is an innocent mom? The question popped into my head when I came across a reel on Instagram. The reel depicted that we are the last generation to have an 'innocent mom'. The reel was intended as a way to sympathise with the fact that innocent mothers will soon be an extinct species. The sad part is that even people validated it. So who exactly is an innocent mom?
The mother who has no exposure to the outside world or who was never educated enough to take a stand for herself? Are innocent mothers someone who endure domestic violence for their family for years together? Are they someone who gives up on their dreams and dedicates their whole life to their children and husband? Or someone who does all the housework and caters to the needs of the family rather than seeking equality in marriage?
Reel On Innocent Mom
The reel shows the daughter helping her mother access the elevator in the mall. It is a good thing she is taking her mother around and giving her exposure to technology, but setting a narrative that they are the last batch of innocent mothers is so wrong. If her mother had been given the opportunity to have control over mobility and visit malls at her leisure, she would never have stayed aloof or scared of using such utilities. Instead of glorifying innocence, show how women, irrespective of age, have more exposure. Innocence doesn't mean not knowing things. By calling it the last generation of innocent moms, one is confiscating the struggles of women who fought for rights. If wokeness makes you less innocent and gives you more control over your choices, then let's not be innocent. So, if now women are standing up for themselves, choosing their careers, and treating marriages as partnerships and not slavery towards their husbands, isn't that supposed to be a happy thing?
Aren't we supposed to applaud and welcome these women who are changing history and battling their way through patriarchy? Maybe the reel did not mean to be patriarchal; maybe it was only meant to appreciate the innocence our mothers have. The problem lies in the fact that, in the name of innocence, we accept only sacrifices from women.
77% of women do not speak about domestic violence, according to a report by TOI. This is alarming data, and women's silence also plays a partial role in the continuation of domestic violence. Women are pressured to be a 'Good Woman', and by good woman, people mean a woman who listens and does not utter anything in return. Isn't that worrisome? And what is the use of such innocence?
The reels have comments like 'Girls become innocent when they become someone's mom'. It means people are not ready for women who speak, for women who fight back. Shocking right? Another comment read, "We are the last generation whose mothers are not educated. Whose mother can't use a mobile? Whose mother can do anything for her child? We are very lucky to be born in this generation." I want to ask, was your mom equally lucky? Well, do you see the problem here? We want a mother who would do anything for us, even if it meant bearing torture from her husband, having no life of her own, or just ignoring all her needs for her child.
If we keep glorifying women this way and their habit of losing themselves in the name of their families, how would women ever dare to do the opposite of this? If we keep placing women on pedestals, how would they stop trying to be gods and achieve greatness rather than just live their lives like normal humans and be happy?
Rather than standing in the battle with our moms and giving her the wings she deserves, why are we appreciating her flightless life? We need to start appreciating women when they take a stand for themselves. For instance, rather than criticising women for getting divorced, society needs to be supportive of women for having the courage to leave a toxic partner.
Another question that worked up my mind was, "Who exactly decides what it is to be an innocent mom? And why is the classification for men and women different for being innocent enough? Why are we seeking perfection from women and not men? Something to think about. Right?