Looking Through Green Flags: How To Know That Your Partner Is 'The One'?

A Reddit thread asked women what, in their opinion, were signs of someone being spouse material. The comments were full of green signals that you should focus on when considering a person as a potential life partner.

Avishka Tandon
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Finding a partner is a really tough task these days, for this generation has very misleading conceptions of relationships and partners. They take help from astrology, zodiac signs, signs from the universe and soulmate criteria to determine whether the person is right or not but these are not very effective.

Relationships these days are a lot more complicated because people have started realising red flags, toxic traits and things that are unacceptable in a relationship. Hence, finding a life partner requires observing each aspect of the person. Often people are confused about whether certain things can actually help them, know when a person is their forever besides the typical green flags. For your information, there are certain traits in a partner that give a good amount of insight into what the person is in real life and what they would look like in the long run. 

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Signs Of A Potential Life Partner

A Reddit thread on @AskWomen asked women what, in their opinion, were signs of someone being spouse material. The comments were full of green signals that you should focus on when considering a person as a potential life partner. A user commented, "Good communication and conflict resolution skills. The ability to work through a disagreement calmly and rationally. Sees problems as “us vs the problem” not “me vs you." Disagreements are a great indication of how a person deals with conflicting situations. As a couple, it is common to have indifferences but they need to be dealt differently than usual. You have to consider each other's point of view and find a common ground because the problem will affect their relationship. Instead of manipulating and imposing, a spouse should be accepting and understanding. Only then will a relationship grow and strengthen. 


Another user wrote what a relationship looks like, "I’m not going to lie, I thought you were exaggerating about your family. But you’re not crazy, they really do treat you like shit." It is normal for people to come from different backgrounds and families and they might have faced completely different situations as compared to you. Instead of demeaning your circumstances or calling you over dramatic, a spouse should empathise. Though they might not understand it if they haven't experienced it, they should validate how you feel. Empathy is really important in a relationship and if your partner has that, you should know that's a green flag.

A user wrote a common case, "Good with kids. Flattered by but not interested in every person who hits on them - knows what they want."  However, when dealing with kids, a person should be calm and patient but that is not something a person who has never been around kids can learn quickly. It takes time to understand the moods of kids because even long-time parents find it difficult to deal with them so this conception may be a green flag but is not mandatory. Being clear about their choices is something that is really important because there will be times in a relationship when the right choices are often not the best emotionally and hence they should be clear with their priorities. Clarity of thought will also save you from being ghosted or getting mixed signals about where you stand.

When looking for a spouse, a person should really look at the big picture and try to think about what life would be like in future, with kids, with family, during adversaries and in happy times. A good spouse is a person who will support you in all your dreams and ambitions and let you have your own limelight. Neither do they control you nor get controlled, you should have your own decisions and choices and respect and accept each other's as well. Don't forget love because while being mindful helps you take the best decision, love helps you make a mutually happy and right one which may not be the best but is good for both of you. That is what a healthy relationship looks like.

Views expressed by the author are their own.