When Aftab Ameen Poonawala was apprehended on November 12, the nation felt a shiver run down its spine as it learned more about the horrifying murder of 26-year-old Shraddha Walkar. According to reports, Poonawala killed Walkar six months ago, and in order to cover up his crime, he chopped her body into pieces and scattered them over Meharauli Forest.
The couple, who met on a dating app and began dating around 2019, evidently did not break up, despite one complaint from 2020 claiming he had been abusing and “blackmailing” her “for months” with threats of murder. According to reports, she allegedly complained about him to the police after he beat her up in the apartment they shared and claimed that his family was aware of his violent tendencies.
People in relationships often tend to ignore red flags that they shouldn’t. Sure, maintaining any relationship requires compromise or sacrifice, but you should never stop putting yourself first. Your happiness, independence, health, mental peace, and life depend on it. Here we have listed some of the red flags in a toxic relationship that we often miss.
Shraddha Walkar Murder: Toxic Relationship And Red Flags We Often Miss
- Inability to resolve conflicts:
Your partner won’t talk about some topics with you or acknowledge your worries, and you frequently argue but never come to an agreement.
- Controlling behaviour or a lack of trust.
For instance, your partner can insist on knowing your phone passcode before you’re ready to reveal it or constantly ask where you are and who you’re with. These actions reveal a lack of respect and trust.
- You don’t feel like you can be fully yourself.
If you don’t feel comfortable sharing your experiences, hobbies, thoughts, and feelings with your partner or you feel judged when you do and start to hide or suffocate aspects of yourself that your partner finds objectionable, that is a red flag.
- Concerns about your partner or relationship have been voiced by your friends and relatives.
It goes without saying that the opinions of others about your choice of partner aren’t everything. Sometimes, though, they pick up on red flags that you miss. If numerous respectable people have voiced concern, it is important to take their views into account.
- You’re conceding rather than compromising.
Give and take are critical elements of healthy relationships. Regularly settling for less than you deserve or giving in results in an unbalanced relationship. If you consistently put your partner’s needs and desires ahead of your own, possibly to keep the peace, you’ll eventually feel unfulfilled and bitter.
Suggested Reading: Shraddha Walkar and Aradhana Prajapati Murder: What Does It Tell Us?
- Difficulty sharing feelings.
Sharing our feelings is the root of intimacy. If either one or both of you are unable to identify and appropriately express your feelings, communication and intimacy will always be challenging.
- Abuse of any kind (emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial, gaslighting)
We all recognise that abuse is a red flag, but we frequently find reasons to justify it. If you’ve experienced abuse in the past (or as a child), you can find it difficult to recognise it for what it is because you’ve become accustomed to it and have learned to hold yourself responsible. You can also be persuaded by a partner who apologises to you, says it’s all in your head, or says they’re acting this way out of love for you. Don’t ignore little abuses like being called names you don’t like, being forced to have sex when you don’t want to, or being told what to wear. Over time, abusive behaviours usually worsen and become more common, rather than improving.
Once you’ve recognised an action or behaviour as a red flag, it’s necessary to do some inner reflecting to decide whether you want to pause, evaluate the circumstance, and ultimately determine if you should continue spending time with this individual.
Views expressed by author are their own
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