Filmmaker Karan Johar is back with the seventh season of his celeb talk show Koffee With Karan. The first guests on the couch for this new season were Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani co-stars Ranveer Singh and Alia Bhatt. In the episode, Johar asks Bhatt to state a "myth" about marriage. To this, the actor replied that there is no such thing as ‘suhagraat’ and added, “ You are tired.” This left Ranveer Singh, who is married to Deepika Padukone, in splits. Bhatt is actually right- sex on suhagraat is more of a myth.
The desi wedding rituals which start two to three days prior to the actual wedding are exhausting. To top it all, most weddings take place at midnight or around it and the couple are asked to fast till the rituals are over. With the heavy makeup and equally heavy bridal dress, no woman feels at ease, let alone think of sharing a nuptial bed for the first time with her husband.
Like the Karwa Chauth ritual, what happens on suhagraat too has been exaggerated by Bollywood movies. Women and men think that passionate sex is the benchmark for their first night, but the reality is something else. If you ask your friends about their suhagraat, you’ll surely hear many amusing anecdotes. For some women the first night may indeed be filled with love and passion and yet for others, it could lead to rape. And then there are many, for who sex is the last thing on cards on their suhagraat.
Decked in a heavy lehenga, fine jewellery and makeup, posing for endless pictures and powering through the meet and greet with relatives, a woman might want to plunge face-first into the nearest available bed by the end of her wedding ceremonies!
Suggested Reading: If A Wife Wants Alone Time With Her Husband, It Doesn't Mean She Wants To Split The Family
A friend of mine agreed to tell me about her first night. She said that after her husband entered the decorated room where she was sitting and waiting for him, he sat beside her, and asked her if she was comfortable. When she said yes, he asked for her hand and traced his name written on her hand with mehendi. He then asked her how she was, and when she replied that she felt tired. So her husband told her to go freshen up and put on something comfortable, as her wedding lehenga was quite heavy. She obliged and returned, and soon afterward she fell asleep.
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Picture Credit: Gravity Gate
Not very different from what Alia said I am afraid.
In India most marriages are arranged, and the suhagraat is the first time that a couple is alone in a room together. It’s but natural that they want to get to know each other first rather than indulge in intimacy.
A colleague who later became one of my closest friends told me about her first night, “We were whisked off by his bro-in-law to a hotel. He wanted us to have our first night away from familial pressures. I slept enroute as I was too tired! Anyway, we reached the hotel. Were shown to our room. Now the thing with arranged marriage is that one doesn't know the spouse closely or intimately. So I was a bundle of nerves. Alone in a room with a man, for the first time in my life!"
My friend further added that being in close proximity with a man was scary thought. "But my husband was a true darling. He did not make me feel awkward at all. He kept on talking normally, joking about our relatives, wedding rituals etc. Made me comfortable. Helped me remove my entire wedding paraphernalia! Jewellery et al.
And then. as I lay down, he just hugged me,. That was the most beautiful feeling ever! He understood my fears and trepidations. So he did not insist on getting physical. He was a pal, a friend, a soulmate for me then. I fell head over heels in love with him.
We did become intimate in the days to come. But only when I was ready. It was not &t=1s">sex but truly a love making session for me.”
One more thing we overlook is that Indian couples come back to the groom’s house which is full of relatives. The newly married couple is too conscious to even think of something as private and intimate as suhagraat. So, they either wait to go away for their honeymoon or for the relatives to leave.
Another friend of mine told me that she and her husband didn’t have sex on their wedding night as his parents were in the room next door at the resort they were all staying at. They just watched TV until they fell asleep.
Also, we tend to forget that it’s not just women but their husbands are also dead exhausted after all the rituals and ceremonies. And so they might not make the first move as expected. Instead a couple may end up spending the first night talking about their future, not noticing when dawn breaks. And can we think of a more romantic beginning?
Views expressed are the author's own.
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Alia Bhatt Is Right, Sex On Suhagraat Is Mostly A Myth
A woman might want to plunge face-first into the nearest available bed by the end of her wedding ceremonies! Sex will be the last thing on her mind.
Filmmaker Karan Johar is back with the seventh season of his celeb talk show Koffee With Karan. The first guests on the couch for this new season were Rocky Aur Rani Ki Prem Kahani co-stars Ranveer Singh and Alia Bhatt. In the episode, Johar asks Bhatt to state a "myth" about marriage. To this, the actor replied that there is no such thing as ‘suhagraat’ and added, “ You are tired.” This left Ranveer Singh, who is married to Deepika Padukone, in splits. Bhatt is actually right- sex on suhagraat is more of a myth.
The desi wedding rituals which start two to three days prior to the actual wedding are exhausting. To top it all, most weddings take place at midnight or around it and the couple are asked to fast till the rituals are over. With the heavy makeup and equally heavy bridal dress, no woman feels at ease, let alone think of sharing a nuptial bed for the first time with her husband.
Like the Karwa Chauth ritual, what happens on suhagraat too has been exaggerated by Bollywood movies. Women and men think that passionate sex is the benchmark for their first night, but the reality is something else. If you ask your friends about their suhagraat, you’ll surely hear many amusing anecdotes. For some women the first night may indeed be filled with love and passion and yet for others, it could lead to rape. And then there are many, for who sex is the last thing on cards on their suhagraat.
Decked in a heavy lehenga, fine jewellery and makeup, posing for endless pictures and powering through the meet and greet with relatives, a woman might want to plunge face-first into the nearest available bed by the end of her wedding ceremonies!
Suggested Reading: If A Wife Wants Alone Time With Her Husband, It Doesn't Mean She Wants To Split The Family
A friend of mine agreed to tell me about her first night. She said that after her husband entered the decorated room where she was sitting and waiting for him, he sat beside her, and asked her if she was comfortable. When she said yes, he asked for her hand and traced his name written on her hand with mehendi. He then asked her how she was, and when she replied that she felt tired. So her husband told her to go freshen up and put on something comfortable, as her wedding lehenga was quite heavy. She obliged and returned, and soon afterward she fell asleep.
Not very different from what Alia said I am afraid.
In India most marriages are arranged, and the suhagraat is the first time that a couple is alone in a room together. It’s but natural that they want to get to know each other first rather than indulge in intimacy.
A colleague who later became one of my closest friends told me about her first night, “We were whisked off by his bro-in-law to a hotel. He wanted us to have our first night away from familial pressures. I slept enroute as I was too tired! Anyway, we reached the hotel. Were shown to our room. Now the thing with arranged marriage is that one doesn't know the spouse closely or intimately. So I was a bundle of nerves. Alone in a room with a man, for the first time in my life!"
My friend further added that being in close proximity with a man was scary thought. "But my husband was a true darling. He did not make me feel awkward at all. He kept on talking normally, joking about our relatives, wedding rituals etc. Made me comfortable. Helped me remove my entire wedding paraphernalia! Jewellery et al.
And then. as I lay down, he just hugged me,. That was the most beautiful feeling ever! He understood my fears and trepidations. So he did not insist on getting physical. He was a pal, a friend, a soulmate for me then. I fell head over heels in love with him.
We did become intimate in the days to come. But only when I was ready. It was not &t=1s">sex but truly a love making session for me.”
One more thing we overlook is that Indian couples come back to the groom’s house which is full of relatives. The newly married couple is too conscious to even think of something as private and intimate as suhagraat. So, they either wait to go away for their honeymoon or for the relatives to leave.
Another friend of mine told me that she and her husband didn’t have sex on their wedding night as his parents were in the room next door at the resort they were all staying at. They just watched TV until they fell asleep.
Also, we tend to forget that it’s not just women but their husbands are also dead exhausted after all the rituals and ceremonies. And so they might not make the first move as expected. Instead a couple may end up spending the first night talking about their future, not noticing when dawn breaks. And can we think of a more romantic beginning?
Views expressed are the author's own.