Stuck In A Bad Marriage? There Is No Wrong Time To Seek Divorce

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When a person marries, they are told that their relationship is now eternal and trying to dissolve it will be an act against the decree of God. Similarly, if someone does seek a divorce, they are always made to rethink the decision, urging them to not defile the sacredness of matrimony. But can a bond be deemed as sacred if it only brings suffering to one or both the parties involved? Must a person stay in an unhappy marriage simply because divorce still remains a taboo, especially for women? Moreover, should a woman carry the burden of an unhappy marriage simply because people tell her that now is not the right time to take a divorce?

A couple that wants to end the marriage is always reminded of the things and people that might get affected by their decision. What about the kids? Do you know what this will do to your parents’ reputation? Moreover, they are also discouraged by making it seem that there is still a chance to make things better. If a person ends marriage a few months or years after marriage, they are shamed for not trying enough and are asked to have patience. If a person decides to walk away after having kids, they are told to push through so that their decision doesn’t impact the lives of their kids. Ending marriage during old age is always laughed at because of the assumption that old people have no life of their own. If they have lived with their partner for so long, why not a few more years?

Is there such a thing as the right time for divorce?

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Source NDTV

But why doesn’t anyone talk about the consequences of staying in an abusive, toxic or unhappy marriage? Why can’t people prioritise their happiness? Why must walking away from a broken relationship come at the cost of social scrutiny, isolation and a pitiful gaze that spells doom over the rest of your life?

Suggested Reading: Parents Should Listen To Their Daughters When They Say “No” To Marriage

It is not a hidden fact that in our society women especially are expected to adjust to a toxic marriage. They are told to ignore, bear and be quiet to sustain the relationship that determines their destiny. This is also the reason why many women endure abuse in a marriage and succumb to it helplessly. The 2018 report by National Crime Records Bureau says that housewives were the second largest group to die by suicide in India, when categorised by profession. Imagine the number of lives that could have been saved if society made it easier for women to walk away from physical and mental abuse, discontent and marriages marred by oppression.

So can we stop finding reasons to avoid divorce? Can we stop treating it as a symbol of a decaying society and low morality? It is just a step to preserve one’s happiness and stability. A country’s development is dependent on every person’s individual development. And walking out of a bad marriage and prioritising sanity is certainly step towards attaining just that. Age has no role at all to play here, mind you. A person has the right to reclaim their life at any point in their life. It is not about how much you have already invested in a relationship, but how detrimental it is for your own wellbeing, if you continue putting in your time, energy and emotions in it.

Views expressed are the author’s own.