Women In Live-In Relationships Are Safe; Men Should Mind Their Actions

Delhi murder cases, wherein live-in-relationship has been considered major backdrop of crime, have left the society in splits about live-in relationships overall. Most of them are of the opinion that live-in relationships are not moral and safe. They are asking women to not enter into such relationships and end up being harmed or killed. The entire focus is shifted from crime to in which situation murder took place. But is it right to say that women in live-in relationships are not safe and start asking making wise decisions.

Rekha Sharma On Delhi Murder Case

NCW chairperson Rekha Sharma said that women are not safe in live-in relationships. Speaking in relation to the Delhi murder case of Nikki Yadav, Sharma further added that families too are responsible for such cases.

While Sharma’s statement might come out of concern for women’s safety, it missed the real reason behind such cases. Sharma would be concerned about women’s safety today but her statement might prove restrictive for women tomorrow. This is because if Sharma pedals the idea that women are not safe in live-in relationships, no family will allow women to stay in one in future. Even women themselves would refrain from staying in live-in relationships.

But is this right? Is it right to put the blame on the idea of live-in relationships for such crimes? Is it right to ask women to be safe when men are at the fault? Is it right to advise families to curb their daughters’ rights to be in a live-in relationship? Is it right to choose marriage and not live-in relationships? Can marriage 100% provide safety? What if things go wrong in marriage, who is going to take the brunt of it?

Let us go back in time and remind ourselves of the Apex Court’s judgment on live-in relationships. As per the Apex Court, unmarried couples and queer couples may be an atypical manifestation of the family but they are as real as traditional families. It stated that “Familial relationships may take the form of domestic, unmarried partnerships or queer relationships.”

In this case, it is certainly unjust to blame live-in relationships and ask for their end. It is legal and defined as a family unit by our court. Then on whom does the blame lie?

Women In Live-In Relationships Are Safe; Men Should Mind Their Actions

It is very easy in our society to target women for crimes happening against them. Women are victim-blamed and restricted to avoid the crime committed by men who, by the way, can’t control themselves. A similar trajectory is being followed by our society too. In cases of the likes of Shraddha Walker, people have put the blame on women for going against social norms. Even though live-in relationships might be legal in the eyes of the law, it is immoral for society. Because society believes that a man and a woman can live together only after marriage.

And it is because of this conception that society blames women for being immoral if they agree to live-in relationships. But why blame women alone when men too live with them? Because in our society, it is a woman’s duty to preserve morality.

But dear society! If one leaf of a plant dries, it doesn’t mean that the entire plant becomes useless. Similarly, if some cases of live-in relationships end up with bad consequences, it doesn’t mean that the idea itself is wrong. In marriages too women are killed but do we dismiss it as unsafe or immoral? No.

Moreover, the major reason behind the crimes in live-in relationships is not different from any other gender-based crimes. In these crimes also, men use their privilege to dominate women and suppress them. They consider women as their property which can be used and thrown as per their will. Even marriages witness crimes like domestic violence, emotional-abuse, dowry harassments and more.

So, let us understand that live-in relationships are not the reason why crimes in it are committed. It is the general disbalance of power in relationships that lead to horrible crimes. And it is high time we try to solve this rather than engage in raising fingers at women.

Views expressed are the author's own.