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Most Indian Men Are Brought Up As Raja Betas. I Dread Marrying One

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One of our precious duties involves spoiling a man to such an extent that he starts feeling too big for himself. A man who has always been a recipient of excess love becomes nothing but a sheer nuisance. God, I truly dread the idea of marrying such a man. Which girl wouldn’t? But are all of us given the liberty to marry who we like? As soon as an Indian girl comes of age, she is married into a household which expects her to be perfectly perfect at everything. She has to often sacrifice her comfort for a man who is accustomed to the blind love he gets from his family. This is the main reason why most Indian men feel that they aren’t supposed to give a hand at household chores. That’s not what I’d want from my dream man.

This phenomenon of Raja Beta Syndrome  is very much rampant in Indian families. A young girl’s training for becoming the ‘perfect’ wife begins at home. She is made to toil away in the kitchen while her brother is given the freedom to do anything he pleases. When she gets married, she is meant to be man-tending to her man. As if he isn’t capable of looking after himself. Seriously? Why must a woman be both wife and mother to her husband? I am pretty sure that I would have to face some of these problematic problems if I marry a Raja Beta. 

“My Mom’s Food Tastes Better Than Yours.”

A husband who has always been at the receiving end of his parents’ affection will expect me to be as good as them. I am sure that such a man who has always been the Maharaja of his family will often draw comparisons between them and me. My food will never be delicious to him, so he will start calling me a bad cook. “My mother is good at this..my mother is good at that…she would always make sure to get things done on time…What’s wrong with you?” These are some of the comments my ears would have to bear. I am surely don’t want to become his naukrani. Why do I always have to be compared to how ‘good’ his family is?

He Is ALWAYS Right

Raja betas have always had the privilege of getting their slightest whims fulfilled. Such men have almost never been called out for doing something wrong. After a certain point in time, it becomes too late to correct his wrongdoings. A husband like that would never apologise for his deeds and would tell me to mend my ways. He would pick fights with me if I try to point out his mistakes. Such men are used to being stubborn and have the gall to blame others for their mistakes. Humara beta aisa kabhi nahi kar sakta. Tum jhoot bol rahi ho! I am in no mood to tolerate such accusations from his parents. Period.

 Tum Uske Liye Itna Bhi Nahi Kar Sakti?  Uska Khyal Rakhna Tumhara Farz Hain 

I know that I will be criticised for everything I would do for my husband. My in-laws who dote on my husband would call me out for not ‘taking care’ of their darling son properly. If I start expecting him to wash his clothes or take care of the kids, I would be called a ‘bad wife.’ Why should I alone carry the burden of taking care of the entire household? Is my husband not old enough to manage some things? Why must I spoon feed him and take all the taunts too? If this is what it means to be his wife, I don’t want it.

He Is Immensely Praised For Doing The Slightest Thing

“Look who made the food today!”

Mera beta kitna mehanatee hain! Aaj usne saara ghar ka kaam kiya.” 

When a man does something which is usually done by his wife, he is praised too much for it. What’s so praiseworthy about a man taking care of his needs? What’s so praiseworthy about a man cleaning the house? Well, a man becomes a subject of praise and more if his family thinks that it is a big deal. Yet, if I as his wife do the same chores, I won’t be honoured the way he is. Instead, I would be mocked for making the slightest mistake. Why can’t we stop praising men for doing their work? Why aren’t women praised for doing their duties? Don’t I deserve to be treated the way he is? It isn’t surprising to know that such men feel falsely entitled to everything in life.

I most certainly know that a raja beta can never be my raja if he feels that he doesn’t have to adjust or compromise.

Views expressed are author’s own.

Also Read: What Is the Raja Beta Syndrome? 5 Signs To Watch

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