Parents Try To Kill Daughter For Talking To Boys: When Will This End?

Have you ever hesitated while talking to a person from the opposite gender because you fear social backlash for this simple action? Have you ever declined a boy's friend request on social media because you know accepting it could have grave consequences for you? Well, you are not alone. Numerous girls have to endure moral policing from their families when it comes to befriending a person from the opposite gender. If you are seen talking, laughing, having coffee or simply walking alongside a boy, you will have to answer a hundred questions and produce a character certificate in front of your parents. Turns out, this is still not the worst thing that could happen to you.

In a shocking incident, parents in Uttar Pradesh reportedly threw their daughter into a canal for talking to many boys and making "indecent" gestures. After pushing their daughter into the canal the two allegedly filed a missing complaint with the police.

As per the police, the couple confessed to their crime after their arrest following an investigation into their complaint. Based on the information provided by them, the police are now trying to locate the girl's body.

In our society, even though we have many co-ed schools, girls are still prohibited from engaging with boys. For example, in Kerala, local authorities opposed girls and boys of Thiruvananthapuram’s College of Engineering Trivandrum from sitting together at bus stops. Politician Vellappally Natesan even claimed that “girls and boys sitting together in classrooms was against Indian culture and breeds anarchy.”

Parents try to kill daughter for talking to boys: When will this segregation end?

These incidents remind me of the time when I was shamed and reprimanded for talking to a boy. “Cut down her wings,” said my principal who blamed me for deteriorating the culture of the school. Similarly, while studying in a co-ed Christian missionary school, I never spoke to any boy in my class or outside as it was prohibited. Consequently, I hesitate in speaking to men even today. Why does society have a problem with girls and boys studying together or engaging as friends? Why can’t society digest the fact that men and women need to be on the same page and for that they need to engage with each other? Why is every interaction between a boy and a girl seen as a chance for romance to bloom? Can't the two engage just as friends, colleagues or acquaintances?

Not allowing boys and&t=4s"> girls to mingle at the school level automatically creates a barrier between them which later grows into gender inequality that we all are trying to rule out. The reason why girls and boys are not allowed to talk to each other is firstly the misconception that no girls and boys can be friends. If they mingle, they will ultimately end up falling in love and maybe eloping in future, this all being against the culture of our society. Especially in the case of girls, parents impose harsher restrictions against engaging with boys. Girls are said to be the izzat of the family. If their name is connected with an unknown boy before marriage it impacts the reputation of the family.

But dear society, it is not true that every friendship between girls and boys ends up in a romantic relationship. The friendships allow a medium for different perspectives, different opinions and different lifestyles to engage. In fact, the misconception of friendship turning into relationships is not a universal truth but a myth created to keep girls and boys from mingling with each other.

Secondly, girls and boys are not allowed to talk to each other to underline the fact that they are different from each other and can never be on the same page. The inequality that breeds in our society starts spreading its roots in a person's mind since their childhood, when girls and boys are indoctrinated with the belief that they are not equals. Most often, the girls are made to believe that boys are aggressive and notorious and so being with them will only cause harm. But do we ever wonder, why many boys actually behave aggressively around girls? Is it because they are gaslighted into believing that they have the right to dominate women.

It is disheartening that parents fear the consequences of their daughters interacting with boys so much so that they are willing to go to any lengths to preserve their honour. When will this segregation on basis of gender end in our society? When will girls be allowed to live and behave as they please, minus having to carry the burden of family honour? Unless boys and girls are allowed to interact freely, gender inequality in our society will never come to an end. But does society even want men and women to be equals? Your guess is as good as mine.

Views expressed are the author's own.