Parenting in our society is more about dictating to kids rather than listening to them. Indian parents still do not give kids enough credit for being independently thinking individuals. In fact, some parents even find it disrespectful if their kids argue, oppose or express opinions. Especially in the case of girls, parents are very strict in regulating their lives. But dear parents, if you don’t let your kids speak their minds then how will you understand them?
Kids have their own individuality. Parents should not impose their opinions on them. Sometimes when a kid is going through a bad phase they do not open up to their parents for fear of being judged. Listening to their side of the story is important for them to trust you. The immediate family and the home should be a place where a child feels safe no matter what is going on in the outer world. Consulting your kids knowing their opinions and involving them in decision making will help in face difficult situations better when they grow up.
Don’t Judge Your Kids: So here are 6 things, If your kid is talking about anyone please listen to them patiently without any judgement
1. I was sexually harassed
It takes a lot of courage for kids to speak about sexual harassment. And it is the parents’ responsibility to listen to them, believe them and support them. Rather than blaming your kid for provoking the harasser. Sexual abuse can scar a child for life, it is important for a kid to know that their parents are standing beside them through this difficult time.
2. I don’t want to pursue this subject/ career
Parents wish to see their kids get well-paying jobs but imposing their own idea of success on kids is not right. Kids should be allowed to choose what they want. Forcing them to do something that they don’t like might lead to bad consequences. Please do not push them to fulfil your abandoned dreams.
3. I don’t feel safe around that person
Parents are often blinded by the duty of raising moral kids. They ask them to be respectful to everyone, no matter how wrong a person might be. But dear parents asking your kids to be with someone they are not comfortable with might have bad consequences. So rather than forcing them to ignore everything, give them the freedom to decide which person remains in their inner circles. Remember in most cases of child sexual abuse the perpetrator is someone known to the child.
4. I am not in a good mental state. I need help
Mental health issues are always dismissed as weaknesses or an excuse to avoid challenges. But dear parents, if you continue to ignore the mental health needs of your kids, they will never understand the meaning of a normal life without guilt, anxieties and panic attacks.
5. Don’t fight in front of us
Kids never like to witness their parents arguing or fighting. But yet, many parents ignore this and often end up arguing in front of them. This in the long run may have a traumatic effect on their mental health.
6. I don’t want to marry
Dear parents, please understand that marriage is a part of life, not the only goal. You cannot force your kids to marry because you feel it is the best thing to do. It is a commitment of a lifetime they need to be physically and mentally ready for it.
Dear parents before ruling out your kids’ choices, listen to them and think about them.