Hidden Spots: On Finding Love In The Digital Age

What Is Being Zombied?
In the long trail of messaging apps, I stumbled on Bumble, I have nothing against anyone looking for love virtually, wading through an endless digital catalogue of romantic contenders or awkwardly breaking the ice with strangers on a daily basis, but these catalogues are no roman architectural pieces, they are pictures of hilarious looking men, who have put zero effort in taking the pictures in the right angle.

Their hairlines are bigger than one’s insecurities. The icing on the cake is their bios. One of the bios that I stumbled upon was, “ I am socially awkward, but not awkward around you”. How many people is he telling the same line? So does it make him socially awkward if he is not awkward around 100 women?

Online dating and women

What about women who are looking for romance and a little bit of spice? Are these gentlemen with bios that would tickle one’s bones, worth a woman squeezing into figure-hugging clothing and spending a fortune on make-up to seem presentable?

But there are times when one wants to meet Mr Right or to just be able to find the date on a day when she wants to be acknowledged for the new hair bangs she got with a celebrity hairstylist. She may have paid a whopping sum, to look yummy and cover the glaring forehead lines. Hitting the dating apps found aplenty on the internet doesn’t promise a knight in shining armour.

Dating apps do give the opportunity for women to be able to kiss a few frogs before finding the prince. Who often come without the princely state. Or the knight who at age 40 still can’t get over his mother’s cooking abilities and her beauty.

But still, women optimistically forge ahead with hope. They dive in with the hope that maybe there are frogs and fishes in the pond, that may have the potential to turn into a prince, if not with the first kiss, but by the fifth maybe.

These apps notoriously often have married men, who lie about their marital status, taking the women for a ride. Some are single men who want a no-frills-attached transactional relationship. Few among them look for love and companionship on the net.

One can hear hilarious anecdotes among the close circle of women get-togethers, who are bold to share stories of experiences on dating apps.

One such incident is of a woman, who was hesitant to put up her photograph on Bumble. She decided to put up her dog’s photo as the display picture. She was pleasantly surprised to find many who sent her dating requests. It left her confused about whether they were okay dating her dog. On closer revelation, she admitted that with one man that she found authentic and who matched her preferences. She choose to be honest with him and said that the name on the app was not her real name. It was her dog’s name. He was extremely offended by her dishonesty on the app. He registered a complaint and since then she has been blocked on the app.

She has since then joined other apps. On a few of them, she continued with her dog photos as her display picture. She is tickled to find many takers.

Now on her regular visit to the salon, she ensures that her dog gets his Pedi and mani with the best Argan oil shampoo and warm temperature-controlled blow dry. It is a dog world out there.

Mohua Chinappa is an author and a podcaster of a show called The Mohua Show. Views expressed by the author are their own.

Suggested Reading: Online Dating Fatigue: Why Some People Are Turning To Face-To-Face Apps First