In India, seeking divorce is in itself a difficult process for it is surrounded by stigma and taboo, making the lives of divorced people even more difficult. However, is there a gender bias when it comes to seeking a divorce or simplifying its process? Unfortunately yes.
Delhi High Court has granted divorce to a couple in which a wife was accused of cruelty. The husband filed a plea for divorce on the grounds that his wife humiliates him and his family. And the court allowed the plea and granted divorce saying, “Repeated use of words of the nature as extracted herein above are clearly humiliating and would certainly amount to cruelty. No person can be expected to live with constant abuse being hurled upon him."
The aforementioned article by Bar and Bench also notes down the derogatory words that the wife used to say to her husband. Some of which are, “2 kodi ka policewala hai tera baap, mera kuch nahi bigad sakta, ministry tak pahuch hai mere papa ki”, “main itna kharch nahi karti jitna teri dawao pe kharch hota hai”, “I am a superintendent in education department, your family is not upto our standard"and more.
After reading this case, two things came to my mind- first, was the fact that the divorce rate in our country is very low (around 1.1 per cent) which becomes the reason why many marriages are unhappy in our country. Second, is it difficult for men in our country to seek divorce? Do women get divorced easily?
Apparently, my doubt was right. After going through some legal websites I understood that for a man in our country, divorce is a typical decision because of many reasons. Firstly, the divorce laws in India favour women. It automatically assumes that the wife is innocent and the husband is the villain. Secondly, men have to think twice before deciding on divorce because they have to pay alimony and have to lose custody of the kids (in most cases). And third, men need very strong proof against their spouses to seek divorce because of the laws’ presumption that women are the ones who face abuse.
Men Seeking divorce
It is not an unknown fact that some men are often harassed by their spouses in the name of alimony. Moreover, the idea that a child’s custody primarily goes to the mother further deprives men of happiness post-divorce.
But is this fair? Should it be difficult for either men or women to seek divorce in our country? Is the difficulty in seeking divorce another reason behind the low rate of divorce cases in our country?
Kudrat D. Chaudhary is a Gender Rights specialist at the Law Office of Robert B. Jobe. She told us, "Men obviously do suffer from a bias in the Indian patriarchal society because they are the ones with power. That is the structure of society and to equalise it, we have safeguards protecting women and minorities."
She further added, "These safeguards can sometimes put men in situations where they may have to fight charges put on them by spite. But this is an exception and not the general law and I believe given the Indian context men have more acceptance as divorcees. Regarding alimony and custody, many factors are weighed in by the court and assuming that it traditionally disadvantages men are assuming that men are victims of a society they themselves created."
However, Chaudhary also said that it doesn't mean that men don't suffer. "They definitely do when the law is used as a tool for revenge. And nobody should have to be in a toxic relationship because of financial fear or fear of being charged with false claims."
Seeking divorce is the legal right of every person. A person, irrespective of caste, gender or class, is entitled to file a divorce case against their partner. However, our society makes the process difficult. For women, divorce is a pathway to a life of shaming and blaming in which they are devalued and not considered fit enough to start afresh. And in the case of men, even though they might not face social shaming, they suffer personal loss.
I am not trying to dismiss the fact that women do not suffer personally and socially during divorce cases. But, as lawyer Akankshaya Mishra, who is a legal content writer, said “It cannot always be the case that the woman is right. However, in our society, men often get targeted even if they are right. And this bias-ness reflects on the laws too.”
She also agreed with the fact that divorce laws are more favourable towards women since the issues that women face are more. But it is not fair either to make the divorce filing process difficult for men.
Hence, let's strive to make divorce an easy and smooth process for every gender. Let us not allow social bias to reflect on the judgment process.
Views expressed by the author are their own.
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