Co-education Doesn't Mean A Free Pass For Male Gaze, Schools Are Places For Learning

A boys-only Government school in Kerala was turned into a co-education school recently and not everyone approves of it. When will we let our stereotypical notions of gender go? When will our society approve of the free intermingling of genders? When will we understand that prejudices attached to gender roles make the world a less safe space to live in?

Whenever we talk about the friendship between a girl and a boy one can immediately recall the dialogue from 90s Bollywood movies that a boy and girl can never be friends. It has been reinforced by several other films and pop culture that boys can't look at girls as their friends but as sexual beings. This male gaze is not just restricted in movies but also precipitates in real life. When one takes stock of violence committed by men against women it becomes clear that it stems from the fact that they consider them as objects over which they demand control.

After the announcement of the school welcoming their girl students, a Twitter user commented saying, "aur kya hi chahiye ladko ko daily attendance lagegi ab toh." This is not a very alien joke as someone growing up in India must have heard it several times that boys get lured by women at any point in time.

When are we going to learn that schools are places of learning and co-educational institutes creates healthy intermingling of sexes? They are not places which morally corrupt boys and girls.

Kerala Only Boys School Welcomes Girl students

On a progressive note, the child rights panel in Kerala had ordered all schools to be turned into a co-education back in July this year. Following this the Government Model Higher Secondary School for Boys in Chala, Thiruvananthapuram welcomed their first set of girl students on Thursday. The thirteen young women who joined the plus one grade were welcomed by the other students and the students were seen wearing gender-neutral uniforms. Read our story here.

Uniforms for young women have always been like a trap, especially in co-ed schools, they get shamed for revealing too much. Usually, it is skirts for young women in school and the length of the hemline decided the morals of the child. Teachers shame young girls from a tender age about their character based on how they dress and if they spoke to boys in the class. Even young girls are put under a lot of scrutinies, however, boys roam freely without any sense of accountability for their actions.

Though men from a young age are taught that they should respect women who are related to them but if they choose not to, there aren't any dire consequences. To women as equals and respect, all of them equally is not always in the memo. Sexualising women also starts from a young age through distasteful jokes. And if one notices carefully those jokes are about women their body type, being an object of desire or a submissive individuals whose worth is based on the judgement a man makes about them.

Are women just an object of desire?

A mere glance can make a boy fall in love with a girl, this is what has been normalised by our mainstream film industry over the years. The very purpose of introducing co-education in school was to bridge this gap and make the genders comfortable with each other as they grow up to be responsible individuals.

Putting the women on a pedestal and normalising the male gaze will not only restrict women from stepping out and chasing their dreams but it will push them to believe that their existence is only for catering to that gaze no matter how uncomfortable it makes them feel.

The co-educational environment, allows them to know more about each other, have mutual respect and push them to drop the vicious sexual gaze. It will normalise women being outside of the house,  later on being at the workplaces, chasing their dreams and fulfilling ambitions.

Suggested Reading: Kerala Boys Only School Turns Co-Ed, Welcomes First Batch Of Girl Students

The jokes about men not being able to control their instincts and treating all women not related to them as an object of sexual desire put women at risk of violent crimes like acid attacks, and sexual abuse. If the opportunity of studying together makes them change even a bit of that perspective is a win-win for women and society. So can we stop making such distasteful comments and encourage students to look forward to a new environment of schooling?

The views expressed are the author's own.