Is It Okay To Marry A Man Who Earns Less Than You?

Marrying a man earning less than you? And then society mocks you for 'marrying down'? Why do we make a big deal about who makes how much money in a marriage? Why do men need to be put under that pressure and why do women have to look for a rich guy?

"How much does the husband earn?" is a common question before and during most marriages-arranged and loved ones. The question had little to no space, with regards to women, at a time when working women were hard to find in matrimonial sites or newspaper columns.

Before women entered the workforce and started earning, the comparison was generally with the father or any other male member's income in the family. The point was the father or any other male member in the family had money, so the 'daughter' led a certain lifestyle; if you marrying a man with a lower income will you be comfortable?

It was fed that maintaining a status quo is important. Regardless of whether the high earning husbands were toxic, violent or abusive. It was made to look emotional and the social constraints were conveniently kept hidden.

After the 1991 recessions, people lost jobs and the price of essential goods and services like household items, houses, education increased.  The inflation in price kept up forcing the matrimonial advertisements to change a little.

Since then in a middle-class family, both husband and wife working became necessary to keep the household cost running, families started looking for an educated and salaried woman. With terms and conditions like the wife will be allowed to work but her earnings should not go to 'her' parents and she needs to fulfil all her wife duties too. Wife duties mean household chores like cooking, cleaning, the responsibility of children, raising them while working the same hours as a husband.

For years, women remain in the job market as a massive workforce with pay lesser than men. The question of a woman earning more than a man remained a long battle then. As most of them waited for an opportunity to break the glass ceiling.

When one hears that Berlin has appointed its first female mayor and the US is yet to appoint its first woman President, it just surprises how in the 21st-century women are still waiting for that first opportunity.

Recently, quite a few women have managed to do so. Breaking the ceiling, get more salary than the men, finally a chance to be in the power position. Even then when it comes to marriage, the long-settled idea of marrying a man who earns more kicks in. It is not universal, but one cannot deny its presence.

Women are shamed for marrying a man earning less than her by most of the people around. Isn't it like marrying down or something? The question is what is marrying down- is choosing a life partner like changing jobs, the new one offers less than the current one?

Although when most salaried women are asked the question- will you marry a man who earns less than you? Instead, they ask, "Will a man marry a woman who earns more than him?"

No doubt that it is ultimately a woman's choice on whom she wants to get married to and certainly she will think of the constraints binding her.

If the woman can take care of herself financially, then other qualities get far more important and as long as the man can pull his own weight in the relationship, not just through bringing cash, the earning of the man may not matter at all.

But should not this be a woman's choice? Not a reimposition of the society thinking again. Will you choose a man who earns less than you?

Opinions expressed are the author's own. 

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