Why Do Some Men Still See Sindoor As A Mark Of Ownership Over Women?

Man forcibly puts sindoor on woman's head, violating her agency: The idea of women now reclaiming and redefining their agency over sindoor (vermillion married Hindu women apply to their forehead) comes across as empowering. For something as personal as sindoor, the wearer taking a call on how to apply or whether or not to apply it appears but essential. However, does our society share this perspective? Or is sindoor, just like the mangalsutra, reduced to a means by which a man can express his 'ownership' over a woman?

Recently in Gorakhpur, Uttar Pradesh, a man reportedly crashed the wedding of his ex-girlfriend, who had rejected him and was tying the knot with someone else, and in full public view applied sindoor to her head. Right before the garland exchange, the man rushed up on stage and, even as the woman tried covering her face with her bridal veil, forcibly applying sindoor, and thus his will, on her. Read here.

The incident has invoked some laughter on the internet, with many comparing its likeness to nothing less than a dramatic Bollywood film. More than anything, the viral video is equal parts bizarre and concerning. It should make the blood boil, if one comes to think of it.

The impunity and self-importance with which the man deemed it acceptable to humiliate the bride and "claim" her are unfortunately not uncommon traits in real-time society. Jilted lovers taking extreme measures to 'win' their partners back is a theme long romanticised by Bollywood; it is packaged as the ultimate genuine show of love. Does it account or carry accountability for the culture of harassment it cultivates?

Man Forcibly Puts Sindoor On Woman In UP: A Form Of Objectification

The man in Gorakhpur perhaps thought that claiming propriety over the bride was justified and could be secured by the simple (and Kabir Singh-like aggressive) act of applying sindoor on her. Because, despite all talk of empowering women by having them choose on bridal ornaments and practices they want to carry forth, a majority of Indian society today still views vermillion as something that supersedes personal agency.

It speaks in equal volumes about the kind of objectification men are allowed to get away with and the submissiveness women are expected to bend down to. The sindoor, for many women today, is not a matter of choice. Either they are instructed by family or are compelled by fear of shaming, but they are compulsorily required to apply it.

Women should know they have and deserve the right to choose. The Gorakhpur woman, for instance, did not succumb to her ex-boyfriend's pressure and reportedly married the groom she was supposed to. ">Stalking is not love. Robbing someone of agency is not love. Forcing yourself on another is not love.

Views expressed are the author's own. 

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