What do women need to have a good boyfriend? Grades, character, good looks or slim body? Answering this question, a TikToker said that women don’t need to focus on their grades but on their “cute face and nice waist.”
The influencer basically ignored a woman’s need to be educated and reiterated that a woman’s goal is to fish for a good male partner. Is it shocking? No. But is it worrying? Yes.
The TikToker outright undermined a woman’s need to be educated and empowered to have a boyfriend. Looks like he too was looking for a girlfriend. He said, “Females some advice to yall is not stress abt ur grades, school, or work if u want a man…any boy takin a chick with just a cute face and nice waist over just good grades lmao trust me (sic).” He even categorised what body type of women he prefers by saying, “If you are 5’6” 5’8” sorority lightskin whitegirl w blonde hair and thin waist, I will pay you $20 every Friday night for a sleepover at my dorm….”
The video’s screenshot was shared by a Twitter user @timbitch_ who called for the ban. Other Twitter users also slammed Kanala for his misogynist comments.
Good Looks Over Grades: Undervaluing women’s education
By asking women to not value their grades, the user trivialises the importance of education for women. He makes education a factor to fish for a good boyfriend and not about being empowered. This is not the first time that women’s education has been trivialised. It is common in our society for families to value a woman’s education only until she gets a life partner. Sometimes, parents draw a limit to women’s education so that marital families accept them and they are not overqualified than their prospective groom. Some parents even force their daughters to quit education and work upon being good wives.
Why is a women’s education not valued as a necessity for her life as it is for men?
Obsessed with women’s looks
Just a few days ago Ranbir Kapoor, fat-shamed his pregnant wife Alia Bhatt under the guise of ‘cute jokes’ and later apologised. Good looks over grades further cement the idea that men even today judge women by their looks. It exposes the idea that society is still obsessed with how a woman looks and not how a woman grows in her life and career. Men want a partner who looks good and not the ones who do good.
But why should a woman work on her looks, education and attitude just to get a boyfriend or groom? Why is a woman’s life considered to revolve around marriage or relationships? Why can’t a woman be educated because she wants an independent life? Why can’t a woman work on their body to feel good about themselves? Why can’t society let women be the way they are?
It is high time we understand that a woman’s life is not indigent of a man’s approval. A woman can live as per her choices without worrying about the criticism they might receive from others. She doesn’t need a man to love and value herself. So when it comes to looking for a partner for women, start with why.
The views expressed are the author’s own.