How I Lost Myself Following Horoscopes

women and property ownership, stigma around depression, feminism, Mental Health Is Important, Homesickness In COVID-19

When I was younger, I found astrology quite fascinating, those predictions by the tarot card readers, palmists, or even the astrologers seemed quite fascinating to listen to. For someone who has always believed in being practical, I did not see any logic in trying to decipher the future or peeking into it through the lines of my palm or through random cards a parrot would pick up or for that matter even though the position of the stars and planets as they appeared on my horoscope. Nevertheless, I enjoyed those times when someone would proclaim o be knowledgeable about some for astrological prediction and want to test their knowledge by predicting my future. But never in my dreams had I imagined that astrology would be the cause of negativity in my life, which would leave a lasting impact for a long time to come.

Though I never took astrological predictions seriously, I couldn’t say the same about everyone around me. Not that the belief system of others is what bothers me and I wouldn’t mind if that person close to me decided to keep their undying faith in astrology only to their life, it was increasingly used to control my life and my decisions. From choosing the name of my child to choosing when important events were to be celebrated to even the decor of my house, it was all done by a supposed astrologer. But the worst was the day the same astrologer predicted that I was never going to make it big professionally, I was never going to be successful at my career, it was visible from my horoscope, so I should prioritise my spouse and family and make all the adjustments to make life easy for my husband. That was the day I decided I had let this foolishness in the form of astrology control my lie for too long and it was time to prove this self-proclaimed great astrologer wrong. I was living in a tier-II city and there weren’t many corporate houses or prominent law firms in the city, but I was offered a job by a relatively known firm in the city. The pay wasn’t very high but my work was recognised and I was financially independent. I went on work there for close to 5 years till we moved out of the city. I found some very good friends there among my colleagues and explored and grew professionally. To this day almost two years since I left the job, I have maintained a very good rapport with my seniors and colleagues at my previous firm and we reach out to each other for queries at work.

I moved to a metro city with my family last year and joined a legal tech corporate as a part of their legal team. I got plenty of opportunities to explore myself professionally and learned a lot in the process. I managed to be adjudged a high rated performer consistently during my tenure and also earned a promotion. But there came a point when I saw myself being mentally stressed all the time and every morning brought with it a feeling of dread about what would be in store at work today. Though I have always prided myself at being extremely planned in life, this one time I knew I had to move on. I decided to put down my papers. Here I am on a sabbatical, which even six months ago I would have considered a foolish move, but today I think otherwise. This break has given me the time to think and plan on prioritising myself, I definitely want to get back to work very soon, but I know this shall be on my terms and while I am at it I intend to hone the writer in me for the better.

Looking back today I can tell the world confidently; your future and your success are in your hands and not on the lines of your palms or the stars in the sky. The best way to make your naysayers shut up is by doing the very thing they told you with determination that you are going to fail at or never achieve. To all those people who have been discouraged, remember it is only for you to decide, what you can or cannot do, nobody knows your strength and level of endurance better than you.

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