A Party Like No Other: In Mauritania, Women Celebrate Divorce

There’s dance, music, a feast, and a gala celebration. So there must be a wedding around the corner, right? Nope! In Mauritania, a country in western Africa, a gala celebration could also mean divorce. Yes, you read that right! Mauritanians have a tradition of celebrating divorce as elaborately as weddings.

Divorce parties are festivals in Mauritania, where it’s a custom for society to celebrate when a woman has gotten divorced. Contrary to patriarchal beliefs, the country doesn’t look down on, judge, criticise, or ostracise divorced women but rather celebrates and honours them.

Divorce Party In Mauritania

A divorce party is no less than a festival and is pretty similar to a big, fat Indian wedding. The only difference is that here they are celebrating a divorced woman for gaining freedom from an unhappy or toxic marriage. Her courage to walk out of a relationship that didn’t suit her is recognised, and she is celebrated for being ready to move on to the next chapter of her life.

The divorced woman wears the best clothes, make-up, jewellery, and henna, just like a bride is dolled up during her wedding. After all, divorced women deserve to be celebrated for breaking conventional norms and doing what’s best for themselves, right?

A divorced woman is not perceived to be a failure in Mauritania and is rather seen as a person looking forward to a better tomorrow and starting her life afresh. Women have been celebrated for getting divorced for centuries in this country. Now, with the advent of technology, selfies, customised cakes, and social media montages have added to the celebration, which usually includes traditional food, music, and dance. The divorce party is usually celebrated to let society know of the woman's newly regained single status and that she’s ready for another relationship.

In fact, divorced women are most sought after in Mauritania because their previous marriage would have given them insight, maturity, and wisdom from their first marriage, and they'll be able to smoothly steer through their lives compared to an unmarried woman. Similar to how experience is valued in a professional scenario, having been married before looks excellent on a woman’s CV in Mauritania. Unlike in other countries, the value of women here increases after they get divorced.

Divorce Is Common In Mauritania

Divorce is fairly common in this country, and people have been through a minimum of five to a maximum of 20 marriages. Some scholars claim that Mauritania has the highest divorce rate in the world, but there’s little reliable data from the country itself, partly because agreements are usually verbal and not documented. Another reason divorce is highly common in this country is because women have strongly inherited "matriarchal tendencies" in Mauritanian society.

Women in Mauritania are free and can even pursue what they call a "matrimonial career." There are also women who are well-educated, pursue a career, and never remarry. Women can legally initiate divorce in Mauritania under certain circumstances. However, usually, men are the ones who technically initiate divorce, often at the woman’s insistence.

Women are prioritised in gaining custody of children after divorce, and men are legally responsible for paying child maintenance. However, most often, women end up taking care of the child’s financial expenses in Mauritania. Although women do not plan on getting divorced, Mauritania makes it easier for women to move forward if they do end up getting divorced. Mauritanian society as a whole supports women choosing to divorce instead of condemning it.

Also, women have their own circle that supports them by throwing parties, which symbolises a sense of sisterhood.

India Should Normalise Divorce

Mauritania’s progressiveness in addressing the concept of divorce is refreshing. As a divorced single mother in India, a country that has the lowest divorce rate at 1%, I’m genuinely hoping that our society too should be able to understand that divorce is not a failure in a woman’s life. It’s just a fresh start to a new chapter of a woman's life. It's a woman's personal choice, and she's simply exercising her agency over her life.

Indian women too need this kind of support system from fellow women and society in order to be able to close the door on an unhappy or toxic marriage and move forward in life. Indian society needs to realise that women deserve better than being forced to sacrifice their lives in an unhappy marriage for the sake of society, children, etc. All it takes is to broaden our perspectives and get rid of patriarchal social norms that are nothing but regressive to women.

Suggested Reading: Tamil Actor’s Viral “Divorce Celebration Photoshoot” Is A Reminder To Normalise Divorce

Image Credits: NYTimes

Views expressed by the author are their own